Another one bites the dust

So you know my story here is another chapter.

Another one bites the dust

you may not have been the perfect
mother but you were a hell of a lot
better than I was a father but to
tell the truth I was really not all
that bad, I may not have been
there as much as I should have,
I was doing the best that I could
at that time working hard breaking
my damn back just to make a
dime trying hard to show my
boys that I was not a loser but
became one just the same in their
eyes anyway, meeting someone
new hoping they were the one
then find out just a few years
later that they lied and cheated
and another one down and
another one down another one
bites the dust hey I cannot help
the way I feel giving away all my
love than falling hard and fast
then getting married because of I
cannot be lonely when she asks
but it never does last, causing
an emotional breakdown
every time a relationship fell
apart and the more my heart
would tear breaking so many
times that I lost count so now
It is beyond repair. Now I have
three very ungrateful mixed up
grownup or so I thought sons
whom I do love and miss very
much always remembering the
day they were born feeding and
changing them always holding
and playing with them more
then their mothers ever would,
putting food on the table a roof
over their heads clothing on their
backs while reading them
bedtime stories like Hansel and
Gretel teaching them how to
play Super Mario Brothers on
the Nintendo going places like
the park showing them how to
ride a bike while teaching them
how to swim holding them when
they were scared of fixing them
when they got hurt, besides that
none of them went or are in prison
or even living on the streets none
of them a felon or a drug dealing
moron, yet I am a bad father
all because I fought so hard for
Ryder who is not my DNA asking
why I didn't fight as hard for
them which I did they have no idea
how hard I tried besides their
mothers were pretty good not
drug addicts or alcoholics just
not very good wives, not to mention
they were already older
and he was just a baby not just
acting like one so then one of
the geniuses get an idea to
get together and decide to ignore
me saying things like I am crazy
making up stories that are not true
not one of them just like the rest
of my family does not support
me in my writing or my poetry
and now I am to the point I just
do not care anymore I am tired of
begging and pleading for them to
talk to me always apologizing
telling them I am sorry, all they
are now are spoiled brats men
acting like babies I have seen
how they are with their babies
at least I was there holding them
in my arms at that age and they
call me a bad daddy, wow, casting
stones at glass houses does not
make them better than me
besides, they say that the apple
doesn't fall far from the tree so
you are supposed to learn from
Your father who learned from
his father who well you get the
picture, see you think that I am
going to talk about my father
right here but you are wrong he
is not worth wasting my breath
except to say he is a narcissist
and the king of them all but that will
be a different story, there it ha been
told so it is time to let it
go let's heal and move forward
because fathers need their sons
and sons need their fathers.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey