Spilled Ink from the heart and soul of Poet and Author Richard M Knittle Jr.

Lost is a song that came to me in a dream one night, I woke up and wrote the lyrics in about five minutes it is about humanity in general because it seems with addiction, mental health, Covid19, homelessness we are Lost,, the next day my friend put it to music and vocal, Warren Walker then a few hours later another friend Wes Smith, they are both just the first thoughts of two talented musicians I like both but It is not quite what I wanted, desperately looking for someone to finish this, if interested IM me.  Written by Richard M Knittle Jr. Wes Smith version - https://youtu.be/bkIX7lA-JoU Warren Walker version - https://youtu.be/08T96D8C8U4 Lost We got lost somehow among the stars without a clue of who we are trying hard to get back home finding only lost and lonely souls screaming whispers of the past as the truth will never last of who they are or what they were  Chorus  Lost among the lonely  souls on the hallowed  grounds of hell our  shadows turned a...

I have a few request that y'all hopefully can help me out with, I am looking for an artist more a sketch artist in blue gray and black pencil for a few collaborations that would benefit us both for a few books and also a musician that plays acoustic or electric guitar to collab on a few songs one in particularly, if you are interested please email me at richardknittle@gmail.com this is very important and I am serious so no games or wasting of my time, not looking for Vincent van Gogh or Eddie Van Halen so please contact me soon. Richard M Knittle Jr.

I have forgotten I wonder what it was I might have done in my life to deserve just how it is that I feel, which I can tell you starts with a sadness so deep I can feel it all the way down to my soul, just like whenever I close my eye at night and try to dream a darkness will take full control causing my body to shiver and shake aching from the bitter cold, I just do not know why it feels like I am always so alone no matter who it is that may be around and why can I not smile anymore is it because I have forgotten what laughter is all about? Now that I have been  thinking it seems to me that the only thing I can feel is only numb inside, I cannot love or even hate it is like my emotions have either got lost or maybe even died in fact I do not care about anything at all not even my own fate, so now I guess am stuck right here where I stand since they all say that you should never need to go backwards to face your...

Every time that we begin to fall in love it becomes a gamble, or a risk that we all must take never knowing if it is going to be a true love or just a reasonable facsimile that contains almost every piece and facet of what true love is really suppose to be you see love is what makes humans who and what we truly are and where we are going in this life and even though love is only just a four letter word it is very complex one. It can mean so many things to so many people I think it has gotten lost over translation and time, love is not a word that you throw out there because we have all been conditioned to repeat back as if we were parrots doing a trick, For example there are so many different types and even meanings that come with a whole lot of feelings which continues to leave us reeling, like the love between two star crossed lovers, between a mother and her son or daughter, between a brother and sister, you cannot forget the one between a dog and his master, or even my love of ea...

As I drive to work today As I drive to work today tears will fall  streaming down my pale tired face why you say? Well because they do  that every day, they fall for lost loves  of my past and happiness that never  last for all my sons I hold so dear and  a future bleak that I now fear even the  thought that I will die alone when I  knock there is no one home I cry for  sorrow and deep regrets for good  friends I lost and will never forget,  or a son that is not mine whom I  searched forever and could not find  I cry for the homeless ones now on  the streets and dying addicts I will  never meet for truth and justice that  never come and innocence lost to  some is that the answer that you seek  because those reasons are just a peek for peace and strength no longer mine  and the will to live I cannot find a battle lost that took its toll as the  ...

This week brings on the start of the holiday season which is considered the highest concentration of suicides. If you know someone who is depressed please check on them more often the next few weeks. Suicide prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255 call and talk to someone before its to late. Demons These demons I fight I know are for real,  from the scars on my heart to this pain  that will not heal. I lay in my bed but at night I am awake,  for the dark ones have taken all of my  dreams to forsake. My fate has been sealed and with  God's help I tried, but my world is  now over as it fell fast to their side for my entire life has been nothing but  one day in hell, and because it meant  nothing to me the faster I fell. I fought back for my freedom and for  the last of my sons, the fight for Ryder I  beat easy but for addiction well it is still on. I fought hard with the courage of his  only son...

paralyzed by my hate and anger  There are those very few days anymore that I can wake up feeling normal knowing that everything is going to be okay for at least that one day anyways, when I know that another dawn is coming and what I mean by that is, in my life that I now live they are very far and rarely ever seen, when I can open my eyes in the morning, from a very restless night of sleep to the beautiful bright rays of sunshine shinning its warmth down upon me, causing an unexpected smile to spread across my face with feelings of unfamiliar calmness and deep-down inner peace, which starts my mind searching to find and play hidden movies of precious memories that were thought long ago erased, filled with nothing but beautiful scenery and happy people looking so much like they are famous actors who are acting out a scene upon a lighted stage somewhere in well-known play, reminding me of some other place far away, way back in another time a sep...

All i got was you...  You want me to write you a love  poem when you never read any   in the past, well here it is "One  time long ago I thought that I  fell in love with you, the end",  just  like this piece of poetry it did not  last long, unfortunately we did, why? because I believed in that poem and tried everything I could but I never would feel the way you are supposed too in a love poem, I  gave all that I had and then some I loved until it the pain was so unbearable that all I had was  numb I cried so many tears that none will fall again, my heart broke so many times it will never  beat again, i have fallen so deep into to darkness that light now hurts my eyes and i will feel nothing for anyone until I die, love to me is nothing more then a fairy tale full of lies a nightmare  filled with demons that fill my days and nights, you have shown me that what love is a...

What would happen? What would happen if there were no more shooting stars? Could we still wish for our true love to find us no matter where it is that we are? If all of the coins that we wish on had vanished to throw down all the wishing wells? Would we not be able to find our soulmates or listen to all the wedding bells? What if all of the candles burned down and there were none to blow out? Will we still get our wishes to be together someday soon without a bit of doubt? Do you think that there could still be a happily ever after with a once upon a time without the fairy tale? Could happy endings really still come true if you never had loved me or if I never loved you? Would the world still spin in a circle around the sun followed by the moon if the sun never rose above our heads causing blue clear skies to appear when we laid out that blanket on the cool spring grass and made love? Could the birds still sing in the trees by our window in the morning when we wake up in each other...

Hate is very ugly to look at it will weigh you down, consuming everything about you until you are covered and buried underneath it. I have risen I have risen up from out of my prison built out of sorrow, misery, and pain, where I have been locked away and forgotten in the cold and bitter darkness that surrounds me, so lonely and frightened from the days back before yesterday through all of my many tomorrows, until today, no, as I have finally got a way to be free, for God in all of His Glory has given me the keys which I have been missing, to unlock all of the lies that have chained me made by my own guilt in the false truths that I now hideaway while blaming all the others for what was living and breathing in my own mixed up and twisted mind where an evil lives and hides among all the good that I have inside, as it started out slowly even diabolically methodically killing off all of who it is I ever was by taking away everything I had than anyone I have loved including my ow...

So you know my story here is another chapter. Another one bites the dust you may not have been the perfect mother but you were a hell of a lot better than I was a father but to tell the truth I was really not all that bad, I may not have been there as much as I should have, I was doing the best that I could at that time working hard breaking my damn back just to make a dime trying hard to show my boys that I was not a loser but became one just the same in their eyes anyway, meeting someone new hoping they were the one then find out just a few years later that they lied and cheated and another one down and another one down another one bites the dust hey I cannot help the way I feel giving away all my love than falling hard and fast then getting married because of I cannot be lonely when she asks but it never does last, causing an emotional breakdown every time a relationship fell apart and the more my heart would tear breaking so many times that I lost count so now It is beyon...

The mask that I wear I need to finally tell the truth and admit to all of you but more importantly to myself that I have been living a lie, all of this time, that I have been doing okay after you left me on that dark rainy summer day, you see this is a mask that I now wear to hide all of the pain on my face coming from the deep sadness that I feel when I say "I am doing okay" is a lie as the tears that fall and the heartaches that well up inside of me even after all of this time has gone for whenever I turn on the radio and hear our favorite song I still start cry as it brings back all of the memories of all those painful days, and when I am all alone at the end of the day fighting back the tears day after day as I look all around and see all the reminders of you start to flow like the rain down my tired face just like a raging river washing away everything in Its path and flooding my tired mind with your goodbye time after time. I hide the deep darkness from everyone that ...

Everyone knows that life has not been kind to me over the past few years, everytime I think that everything will be alright, it is not again, I feel like baby bird spreading my wings to fly yet every time I jump of the limb Ii fall hard to the ground just to start all over again, then I have been stuck in a very difficult relationship angry, lost, hurt, confused, not sure if I was going crazy pushed to edge where I finally found myself at the precibus of greatness, standing on the edge of insanity until a fan contacted me and explained what a narcissist is and then another and another, I am so very lucky to have the ability to write poetry, because the few fans that I do have are the greatest in the world and beyond everyone of you is an angel, who by interacting with me and reading what I write saved my life in so many different ways. This morning which is two weeks from my birthday I logged into the computer and browsed to numberonemusic.com and I saw this below (The photo's) w...

I am only human I am but just only a human so tears will fall when I am hurt or sad and even when I am happy that it has touched me deep down to my soul, I weep for others whom I cannot help like the many homeless men, women, and children who are living out on the streets only just trying to find some shelter out of the cold and heat hungry scraping together food and drink while some have mental health issues and will most likely never find a cure while others are addicts who will either figure it out and climb out while others I am sad to say will not and this evil disease will take another friend or stranger maybe even a family member not if but when and how while others only wander with nowhere the target yet still are lost to the world and worse yet within themselves because maybe a child has died causing a full mental break down I know I would go completely crazy or just maybe lost the only job they ever new or just forgot who they were maybe a hero back from some god forsaking w...

Locked away deep inside I still have a photograph of you that I have always carried with me stored away forever deep in my heart so that whenever I close my eyes I can see it every night when I am dreaming about you and me like it was when we used to be not all that long ago, I also, have all of the memories of you and I that are imprinted deep down in my very soul that I wrap close around me like when you used to hold me whenever the nights got lonely and so very cold, but today if we ever meet and you asked me how am I doing, I would say that I was "doing okay" but I already know that the real truth of of the matter is if you could only read what was on my mind you would know that I was lying to you because there is not a single day that goes by in this life of mine that I am not thinking always about you, and so you know even after all this the time you are always on my mind. I do not know why but somehow in some way you are still locked away inside of me, I still ...

I along with millions of others struggle with severe clinical depression, we cannot just smile or take a pill to feel better, just because we do not look sick does not mean we are not. Edge of a cliff. I struggle every single day when the alarm goes off just to wake up in the morning to start my day, so damn tired still from the night before tossing turning tossing turning back and forth up and down trying so hard to fall asleep, laying there in my bed all alone in the dark trying to talk myself down off the edge of a cliff thinking to myself as I am shaking my head that something is definitely not right, what the hell is wrong with me why is everything that I try to do need to be so damn hard because it seems to me that life has got to be so much better than this, look over at my phone to see what time it is even what day, knowing that nobody called they never do not even to check up on me, wondering if maybe I would be better of dead as tears start to fall thin...

As I just stood there feeling very sad and helpless watching as he wandered aimlessly through what was left over from the last of the remains of a lost and broken world, a place where he once knew back in another moment of time when he lived happily with his wife and four boys and loved every single one of them with his whole heart and soul but now long ago abandoned by all four for reason unknown to him lost in a place that time itself seemed to have forgotten through the tiny refractions caused by the cracks along with the dust in his dirty reflection that was coming from what was left of broken mirror he used every morning when the sun rose, as he quietly keeps on searching in the area he believes used to be his home for something or maybe it was someone giving off a sorrowful yet pitiful sound of an eerie deafening silence as he meticulously looked what literally was like only a few inches at a time, I mean after all, it was his own soul he was looking for, so ti...