Destined in fate

destined in fate As I lay right here in my bed terrorized while
I am paralyzed so afraid to move just staring
up at the tiny cracks on the ceiling in the
middle of day with the sunlight trying hard
to filter through the old dirty torn curtains
in this old rundown one room motel that I
have found myself in and call home, wondering
to myself how in the hell did I end up here, as
all my fears of dying all alone all these many years
now seem as if they indeed will come true, as
tears have now started falling, streaming down
my check for a deep sadness that I now feel but
yet not for all the battles that I have lost in
my wasted life but more for the very few
wars that I have won, not for the darkness
of a depression that I have fallen so deep
into that I now fear this time will never end
or for a war that has already ended it seems
like a lifetime ago that I still and always will
battle within the confines of my own mind
striking out into the empty air at enemy no
longer there yet I am attacked every day or

Poison is what you are

Poison is what you arePoison is what you are to
me yet whenever I close my
tired eyes you are all that I see
your in my dreams and all
of my nightmares too
you are everywhere in
everything that I do
it is like I am addict and you are
a drug and you keep calling
out my name causing me
confusionmaking me go
completely wild
and driving me insane
an addiction and one so
strong just like all of the demons
that I have fought for so damn
long, like I am abused by you
I always forgive and forget
going back to you only to
get hit again and again
If there is cure please show me
how before it is to late and
I die in your or my own hands
Who knows how all this darkness
started because of you I now
feel so helpless like a fool
in a puppet show with the strings
pulled by you so please let me go
You are my addiction that I must
cure I beat all of the alcohol and
drugs yes despite of you so
now I am fighting my
biggest fear so that I will
stop all of these falling tears
just so you know I will win
someday soon I …

The Battle Lost

For  The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth my first book 5 Stars very moving August 9
By AspergersMama
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase This was a very moving book, even when there are readers that are oblivious to the whole story, this could be nothing but powerful for them to read. I cannot wait for the next book!

Saying Goodbye

I will never forget you, and I can never forgive you, you were my sunshine in the light of my day and moonlight in the dark of the night, you were my shelter in all the storms that we faced, you were the beacon in my life, and the end of my life you have been tears falling, face smiling, laughter and the anger, the sadness, happiness, the good times the bad times we have the poorest of the poor and richest of the rich you are the Ying to my yang the black to my white night to my day and sun to the moon, and this is the hardest thing that I will ever do:
Saying Goodbye In my life that has been filled
with so much sorrow
and many regrets there
are so many moments that
are embedded in my memories
that I cannot and will never forget
you see while we have been together 
I have finally faced all of the skeletons  that I have hid away in the dark and
hidden closets that fill my mixed up
mind and I have beaten all of my
demons that have been haunting
me for a very long time and I am
now …

How do I get free?

How do I get free? For as far back in my mind that I can
remember I have been running away
from all of my demons while chasing
the fire of a dragon, so much so that I have even forgotten what is was like
to just stop everything I am doing and just look up at the sun close my eyes
feel the warmth and smile, always to
afraid that one day they would finally
find me, then what was I supposed to
do anyway? I am aways fighting a war
that was over against an enemy who was never really there all the while I
was falling down deeper in a hole that
was filled of sorrow and despair, where
it felt as if I was being dragged under
by the weight of my past mistakes always fighting to climb out inch by inch
gasping for air, drowning in a frozen sea of shear loneliness and my own tears
while surrounded by the darkness so
how do I get free? I have been looking
so long for a real love to hold on to for
as far back as I can remember, alway
coming close or so I thought I was only to grab on and fi…

When will it be?

We as a people the citizens of this our planet Earth must look inside ourselves and answer these questions to stand up and fight for freedom and let peace win. Hate has been in place way to long let's all overthrow it so love can rule us all. When will it be? How much longer will It be that I no
longer feel that I am all alone? How
much love will it be that I need to feel
love at all? How long will it be that I
live in the deepest depths of darkness with no light to see? How long will it 
be until my eyes are open to the broken
world that is around me and I can see
all the truths that I now seek? When
will it be that my poor broken heart will
finally be healed so I can feel it beat
once more, never to be broken again?
When will it be that I finally live a life
of the righteous and not for all this sin?
When will it be before my mind is
opened to all the world around? When
will it be my ears learn to listen to thebsounds of the silent that now and
forever do abound? When will I be free

Where you still reside

Here is a new one, it actually started off as a text to someone but my pen just kept it going..lolWhere you still resideI am sorry to bother you I know
that it is kind of late but I just
needed to say that I still think
about you every single day,
especially on those long cold
lonely nights kind of like it is
tonight trying hard but I cannot
sleep no matter what I try and
do, so I am sitting outside on my
front porch just staring up at all
the stars in the midnight skies
through the the glow of beautiful
full moon wishing hard on those
falling stars wondering how you
are doing and where you are right
now, then spilling all of my ink
when my words start drifting off
to sleep so they can begin to dream bringing back old memories of
me and you acting like we were
fools talking all night long singing
along to our favorite songs only
laughing and having fun looking
crazy to everyone, yes those were
the days, then it occurred to me I
wonder do I ever cross your mind
if I do is it in the same …

Poetry 101

Poetry 101Your body is a law that I will break
over and over again and while
I stand right here and stare I am
committing to every sin in His book
then you had to go and look straight
at me I feel like I should be
arrested, handcuffed, found guilty
buy a jury, of my own peers,
sentenced to a life without the
possibility of parole, like I want
to be with you, as your beautifully
crafted yet illegal package puts
me in unrequited chains your
curves scream danger go back
as your lips draw me closer in
the pounding of my chest like
a hammer to rock is a near miss
while your breast are nothing
sort of a felony arrest in front of
the hanging judge commuting
my sentence of one I can barely
speak, I must end this madness
and walk away, no run while saying
goodbye to you in my mind forever
until next time tomorrow after math
period three gotta just love English
literature, Mrs. luscious lips ooops
I mean Mrs. Tipps in Poetry one
zero one.Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey

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