Showing posts from 2019

Episode 7 The Battle Lost Podcast

**'ALL BOOKS FOR DOWNLOAD FREE***  Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. a nominated Texas Poet Laureate 



Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. a nominated Texas Poet Laureate

It has been a little while so all my books for Kindle are free for download starting Tomorrow Sunday and Monday September 15th and 16th Get one or get all 17 they are all free for Kindle download. Remember you do not need to have a Kindle you can get the Kindle app at your apps store and even for your PC.

1. The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth

2. Broken Angel: An epic mini-tale of a 15 year old heroin addict

3. Poetry in God's Creations: A Poets Journey

4. Out of the Darkness: A Poets Journey

5. Addiction: The Sounds of Silence

6. Why?: An epic mini poetry tale on the effects of PTSD

7. Into the Light: A Poets Journey

8. Conversations with God and the Devil: Helping to heal a Broken World

9. Looking Back: A Po…

I don't want to die.

I Don't Want To DieDear God, I just need you to know that even
though I am sick I do not want to die
quite yet I still want to live for I am
not done down here loving everyone
that I can, Besides I have so much
more to give I am not ready to come
back home no not just yet for the
job that you have given me is not
over yet, please give me just a little
bit more time I still want to help a few
more souls, then when I am finished
I will use my wings and I will soar
even more, I do want to thank you
lord though for all of the time that I
have already had, when I do leave
this place I truly hope that everybody
here will always remember me with
a smile on their face and nobody
cries or is sad and I hope that I have
shared enough love while I have been
down here living my crazy life doing
the very best I could and I did
everythingthat I can to help bring
about peaceand to remove as much violence, hate, and strife and explain
why I write sopeople would
understand, God, I wantto thank you
for this gif…

The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth Special Edition

4.0 out of 5 stars: Heart rendering September 1, 2014
By Daleen Viljoen
Format:Kindle EditionI was given a free copy of the book
This is not a book for the fainthearted. It is a series of poems depicting the story of a father and his struggle against drug addiction and his relationship with a baby that is not his own and the mother of the child and her dark family. The book is heart rendering and a true emotional journey. It is a must read for poetry lovers and those that enjoy real true life stories. It gives a dark look into the soul of addiction as well as the hope that can come from these terrible situations.The special edition has some fascinating art work, though my favorite part was seeing the pictures of Ryder and family in the end. It creates a relationship between the reader and the characters in the book.

It fills our hearts

It fills our hearts
There has never been a wish ever come true for me, from my fifty two years Ihave been living on this planet so blueand green, wishing on stars falling fromthe skies, or wishing down wells with my last dime, but that does not mean thatI will give up on hope, and will continuetrying to find real love before I die and that's the truth, I have lived this life thebest that I could yet it never went as smooth as I wished it would, filled withheartache, guilt sorrow, and pain, crying so much it looked like rain, there were lonely days, and lonely nights sleeping on a bed all by myself while listening to all the sad songs ever sung, singing about a love, that died away, or missing someone who had walked away, even those about missing you wishing you were here and even one about a cowboy crying alone in the rain, I have loved many woman that is true, I have loved my pets, and my children too, I have loved my parents, and a bunch of friends, sex, drugs, drinking booze and…

Peace Love and Poetry

feelings of all kinds

I know we do not know each other
and I have never met you before,
but for some damn reason you
look so very familiar, what is your
name, why you ask? I do not know yet,
maybe we passed each other on
the street somewhere or maybe
It was the store, all I know is your
beauty is so much unlike all the others
it is making me want so much more,
wait, one minute, this cannot be true
I am getting heavy feelings of all kinds
coming from way deep down inside
of me, I am pretty sure at least, yes
I believe it is coming from my soul, it
is trying to say It knows you from a
life we lived before, we were lovers
oh, sorry I mean my soul and your
soul was in love like no other has
ever been before, way back before
man was alive, I am sorry I know it
sounds insane but my whole body is 
screaming saying you are the same,
please close your eyes and tell me
what you feel because of our two souls
are together right now, making
passionate love, everywhere they can, 
you see souls do not follow the same
rules of time that we do so an …

It's okay if Peter pan

Warning adult content here... R rated
It's okay if Peter Pan is gay
Where oh where could Peter pan
be, I wanna be a lost boy from
neverland so I can finally escape
from this reality, my life down here has
turned out like shit I am a loser in
love more times then I can count
hell my hands even hate me
because ii masturbate too much
So I really hope that he brings
Tinker bell with him I think she is
kinda hot at least as far as I can tell,
maybe if I am lucky she will share
her pixie dust and let us snort a
big fat line, and get us high as fuck,
They fly around the room while she
spanks my butt, then we can do
some more we can get our freak on
and play the show and tell then we can
take our clothes off and see what
Peter's got, he might be huge you
never know or maybe he is small after
all he and Tinkerbell, they are pretty
close I kinda think and it's okay with
me then again maybe he is gay after
all he makes boys lost, taking them
away or maybe I got it all wrong and
he has noth…

Podcast number 5

On some cold winters night

On some cold Winters Night
Maybe one day on some cold winters  night in a cabin laying on blanket by the
fireplace I will create a new piece of
poetry and I will again write it all over
you. First I will start to write just how
much that I truly do love you and what
your love has done to me on the back
of your beautiful soft neck as I whisper
those same words softly into your ear
so you will never forget. Then as my
pen starts to find its own way slowly
down the middle your back those words
that have I written unto you will start to
wrap firmly around your body and end up
on the top of your beautiful naked breast
as I whisper to you and ask should I go
on? Just as you start to softly moan yes.
I will then began etching into your skin
how our love had first begun on that hot
midsummer's night on a blanket under  the stars and full moons glow, just as I
become an artist who is starting a new
painting on an empty canvas or even a
musician starting his song of love on a
blank sheet of music creat…

A place called forever

A Place called foreverI can still remember all those memories of you and i back in school going out to the place down by the lake where we both lost our innocence and minds drinking homemade wine, you said yes and i did my best out on the shore of lovers lake. Chorus
oh there ain't nothing like listenin to
a country love song when your trying
your best to get your thang on laying
in the back seat of a sixty-six 286 ford
mustang after highscool prom at least
that is what we told your mom up on
a place called forever where you go
with your lover june nineteen eighty
nine.we were only fifteen but that didn't mean a thing cus you wore my jacket and class ring, i wanted to marry you and oh how i looked the fool down on one knee where the whole town could see laughing and crying all summer longoh there ain't nothing like listenin to
a country love song when your trying
your best to get your thang on laying
in the back seat of a sixty-six 286 ford
mustang after highscool prom at l…

I am sorry

I am sorry
Hey, do you have a few minutes I
really need to talk to you I promise
it will not take very long, you see
I am sorry but after all these years
of me and you, I finally need to say
goodbye, there really is not much
to say right now because I think we
both know why sometimes two
people just cannot ever get along
arguing and fighting all of the time
saying things to one another we
both know is very wrong, there is no
need to stay together if love has lost
its hold, coming home to an angry
house that feels so damn cold, the
old and dusty photographs that fill the
walls full are only painful memories of
a time and place that seems so long
ago, I can still remember when laughter  filled up these rooms not too long ago,
but now I can only hear the sound of
teardrops fall and splash upon the
ground, when they tell our story tears
will start to flow from who and what
we used to be to what we have become,
chapter after chapter of heartbreak lies,
and pain, they will hear how a once
upon a time be…

Little Kisses

Little kisses
I just wanted to tell you how
much those little kisses
that you left on my lips the
last few days had really meant
to me, you see the taste
you left of your lips on mine,
started finding past memories
of you and I back when we only
knew the true beauty of great
happiness and joy, before all of
  this anger and sadness and
even back when we could get
close enough to see the
reflections of our undying love
for one another deep down to  our souls in each other's eyes.
All of the beautiful loving times
that we once had both forgotten
washed away every morning by
the waves of sorrow fed by
distrust by lies of indiscretions
ripped away from us, stolen by
that evil we now call addiction
taken from us with no
regard to our emotions all the
happiness that I used to always
feel that I believed would live in
my heart with every single beat
and up in my mind playing over
and over like a movie that
started with once upon a time
then ended with happily ever
after with tears in our eye…

But after all what is time?

But after all what is time?
But after all what is time? As it is
always moving forward never looking
back and seems we never have
enough of it unless it is in our hands or is
It but just a single grain of
sand in a dry and desert
land or a very brief blink of
an eye or lightning struck
even one drop of water
falling from the sky like rain?
Maybe the single beat of a
broken heart or just a single
frame of an old fractured
memory that was leftover
and forgotten in the grey matters
of our minds as we live our lives
confined to the one thing that
we cannot ever get back,
Time, how do we come
to computation to get a
reasonable equation in
the amount of love that we will
have in the moments that we
are given by our creator to his
creations then confined by the
reality In which we are driven
into the dreams of our visions in
which we will remain, as we
all here are on this one single
planet only just humans with  unreasonable expectations
through our explosive emotions

The Battle Lost Show

My life

It's no secret that I am sick, my body is repaying back for the way I have treated it, I will be 53 this October and I see more and more people dying all around me that are my age and younger, to tell the truth, I have never been afraid of death, to life has got to better then this one, I have seen so much, I have done even more, my bucket list has been overflowing for a long while, I have no regrets except for those decisions I never made, I can only pray I make it to Ryder's Highschool Graduation but it is a very slim chance I will, I miss my boys Michael, Bryan, and Dakotah so much it hurts as they have left an empty hole in my heart, but who I miss more than anything is my sister Michelle, we have been through so much together, I know where she is at but respect her wishes, I have not seen her in 8 years and I miss her more than anything. I am trying hard to take care of myself but it is so hard, as my diabetes is getting worse, my congestive Heart Failure is getting wors…

Here is to all the lonely people

Here is to all the lonely peopleHere is to all those lost and lonely
people who have lived trapped in
a world of very deep sadness while
always feeling as if they were all
alone, no matter what they were
doing, where they are, or who may
be around, whose cries for help
every day go unanswered, from their
screams that make no sounds, living
somewhere in their nightmares where
hopes and dreams will not be found,
here is to all the lonely people who
have lived locked away within their
own minds caused by mental illnesses
where diagnosing is sometimes hard
to find. Here is to all the people who
live in agonizing pain, coming from
the scars of a broken heart that will
never be the same, who have lost a
war of finding love in the battles that
rage on. Searching their whole lifetime
just to find that love is just a lie
causing tears to fall to the ground like
raindrops from the skies.Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #PoetsJourney

Podcast live Paralyzed by Hate and Anger

Destined in fate

Destined in fate As I lay right here in my bed terrorized while
I am paralyzed so afraid to move just staring
up at the tiny cracks on the ceiling in the
middle of the day with the sunlight trying hard
to filter through the old dirty torn curtains
in this old rundown one-room motel that I
have found myself in and call home, wondering
to myself how in the hell did I end up here, as
all my fears of dying all alone all these many years
now seem as if they indeed will come true, as
tears have now started falling, streaming down
my check for a deep sadness that I now feel but
yet not for all the battles that I have lost in
my wasted life but more for the very few
wars that I have won, not for the darkness
of a depression that I have fallen so deep
into that, I now fear this time will never end
or for a war that has already ended it seems
like a lifetime ago that I still and always will
battle within the confines of my own mind
striking out into the empty air at enemy no
longer there yet I am attacked every day …

Poison is what you are

Poison is what you arePoison is what you are to
me yet whenever I close my
tired eyes you are all that I see
your in my dreams and all
of my nightmares too
you are everywhere in
everything that I do
it is like I am addict and you are
a drug and you keep calling
out my name causing me
confusionmaking me go
completely wild
and driving me insane
an addiction and one so
strong just like all of the demons
that I have fought for so damn
long, like I am abused by you
I always forgive and forget
going back to you only to
get hit again and again
If there is cure please show me
how before it is to late and
I die in your or my own hands
Who knows how all this darkness
started because of you I now
feel so helpless like a fool
in a puppet show with the strings
pulled by you so please let me go
You are my addiction that I must
cure I beat all of the alcohol and
drugs yes despite of you so
now I am fighting my
biggest fear so that I will
stop all of these falling tears
just so you know I will win
someday soon I …

The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth

For  The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth my first book 5 Stars very moving August 9
By AspergersMama
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified PurchaseThis was a very moving book, even when there are readers that are oblivious to the whole story, this could be nothing but powerful for them to read. I cannot wait for the next book!

Saying Goodbye

I will never forget you, and I can never forgive you, you were my sunshine in the light of my day and moonlight in the dark of the night, you were my shelter in all the storms that we faced, you were the beacon in my life, and the end of my life you have been tears falling, face smiling, laughter and the anger, the sadness, happiness, the good times the bad times we have the poorest of the poor and richest of the rich you are the Ying to my yang the black to my white night to my day and sun to the moon, and this is the hardest thing that I will ever do:
Saying Goodbye In my life that has been filled
with so much sorrow
and many regrets there
are so many moments that
are embedded in my memories
that I cannot and will never forget
you see while we have been together 
I have finally faced all of the skeletons  that I have hid away in the dark and
hidden closets that fill my mixed up
mind and I have beaten all of my
demons that have been haunting
me for a very long time and I am
now …

How do I get free?

How do I get free? For as far back in my mind that I can
remember I have been running away
from all of my demons while chasing
the fire of a dragon, so much so that I have even forgotten what is was like
to just stop everything I am doing and just look up at the sun close my eyes
feel the warmth and smile, always to
afraid that one day they would finally
find me, then what was I supposed to
do anyway? I am aways fighting a war
that was over against an enemy who was never really there all the while I
was falling down deeper in a hole that
was filled of sorrow and despair, where
it felt as if I was being dragged under
by the weight of my past mistakes always fighting to climb out inch by inch
gasping for air, drowning in a frozen sea of shear loneliness and my own tears
while surrounded by the darkness so
how do I get free? I have been looking
so long for a real love to hold on to for
as far back as I can remember, alway
coming close or so I thought I was only to grab on and fi…

When will it be?

We as a people the citizens of this our planet Earth must look inside ourselves and answer these questions to stand up and fight for freedom and let peace win. Hate has been in place way to long let's all overthrow it so love can rule us all. When will it be? How much longer will It be that I no
longer feel that I am all alone? How
much love will it be that I need to feel
love at all? How long will it be that I
live in the deepest depths of darkness with no light to see? How long will it 
be until my eyes are open to the broken
world that is around me and I can see
all the truths that I now seek? When
will it be that my poor broken heart will
finally be healed so I can feel it beat
once more, never to be broken again?
When will it be that I finally live a life
of the righteous and not for all this sin?
When will it be before my mind is
opened to all the world around? When
will it be my ears learn to listen to thebsounds of the silent that now and
forever do abound? When will I be free

Where you still reside

Here is a new one, it actually started off as a text to someone but my pen just kept it going..lolWhere you still resideI am sorry to bother you I know
that it is kind of late but I just
needed to say that I still think
about you every single day,
especially on those long cold
lonely nights kind of like it is
tonight trying hard but I cannot
sleep no matter what I try and
do, so I am sitting outside on my
front porch just staring up at all
the stars in the midnight skies
through the the glow of beautiful
full moon wishing hard on those
falling stars wondering how you
are doing and where you are right
now, then spilling all of my ink
when my words start drifting off
to sleep so they can begin to dream bringing back old memories of
me and you acting like we were
fools talking all night long singing
along to our favorite songs only
laughing and having fun looking
crazy to everyone, yes those were
the days, then it occurred to me I
wonder do I ever cross your mind
if I do is it in the same …

Poetry 101

Poetry 101Your body is a law that I will break
over and over again and while
I stand right here and stare I am
committing to every sin in His book
then you had to go and look straight
at me I feel like I should be
arrested, handcuffed, found guilty
buy a jury, of my own peers,
sentenced to a life without the
possibility of parole, like I want
to be with you, as your beautifully
crafted yet illegal package puts
me in unrequited chains your
curves scream danger go back
as your lips draw me closer in
the pounding of my chest like
a hammer to rock is a near miss
while your breast are nothing
sort of a felony arrest in front of
the hanging judge commuting
my sentence of one I can barely
speak, I must end this madness
and walk away, no run while saying
goodbye to you in my mind forever
until next time tomorrow after math
period three gotta just love English
literature, Mrs. luscious lips ooops
I mean Mrs. Tipps in Poetry one
zero one.Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey

Football fundraiser for Ryder

A Place Called Forever

"A Place Called Forever" Lyrics by Richard M Knittle Jr. and Mike Terry Music composed by Mike Terry

Live poetry by Richard M Knittle Jr ​July 22nd, 2019


July 22nd, 2019 Live poetry by Richard M Knittle Jr. because I want to and I have a new book coming very soon number nineteen.

July 22nd, 2019

Live poetry by Richard M Knittle Jr. because I want to and I have a new book coming very soon number nineteen.

From my pen to your heart and soul.

You asked me once

You had asked me once to try and explain just how much that I love you in just a single word so I thought about it for several days and many nights then I came up with "Time" as in from the beginning of until the very end and everywhere in between as there is never enough in a day or not enough at night when we make love and when I am away from you time moves so slow yet when you and I are together it seems to fly by, and with every grain of sand I fall even deeper in love with you then I was the day before for you see when our "time" is over when the hands upon the clock no longer turn I will no longer need to wonder if my love for you was the greatest this world has ever known because all I will do is ask and "time" will tell. Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey

Tick Tock Tick

Tick tock tick tock
It is three am reads the clock on
my bedroom wall with a steady
tick tock tick tock tick tock that
seems a little louder then I can
remember as I lay there in bed
all alone and feeling lost without
a care if I am alive or dead tick
tock tick tock my mind is very
clouded in a thick black fog
making it very hard to think as
I find it increasingly hard to
sleep tick tock tick tock brrrrr I
shiver from the bitter cold icy
air that has come in from out
of nowhere and there is heavy
feeling of a very deep despair
that is hanging in the room
lingering in the air like an under
lit smoky bar at three am
closing time tick tock tick
tock tick tock that is pressing
down on my chest like a pair
of vice grips then terror comes
over me as realize I am all alone
and unable to move paralyzed
tick tock tick tock tick tock as
I think to myself stop breath
calm down is this real or am I
only having a bad dream or
maybe nightmare yes that is it
it must be as I glance up at the
clock three zero one am…

July 17, 2019


As I stand here

As I Stand Here

As I stand here on this mountain
top looking at all of Gods creations
in awe at all that is around me,
I am saddened that I am even
human any more since hate,
violence and racism is all I ever now
see, with children dying before they
are born with some even homeless,
hungry, and living dirty on the
streets and people who are just like
me that have been diagnosed with mental
illness with no care like depression,
anxiety, personality disorders,
and even PTSD.
As I stand here and think about life
and So many other different
things in this valley that are down
below, I started wondering out loud
and then to myself have we not
learned anything from our past?
World war I, World War ll, Vietnam,
Korea, the Gulf War and many more,
is there anything else besides war
that we know? When will we finally
be ready to give peace a chance?
That is what I want to know, but
greed and power will be hard to