My Shattered Broken Soul

My Shattered Broken Soul

My shattered broken soul cries out in
a very deep anguish of sorrow and much
regret over what seems like today as a
wasted life of bad decisions along with
many types of addiction bringing with it
a sense of denial of the many sins that
have transpired through all the conspiring
of a damaged mind through the many
years and types of abuses hidden away
locked in a jail cell of my own device
somewhere deep down inside my brain
believing no, more as needing while
convincing myself that everything will be
okay pushing away those I had love while
others ran away from the fallout as to not
be crushed in the aftermath of the fast
retribution caused by the onset of my own
self-destruction that I myself had no choice
thinking that I could destroy the evil that
lives hidden inside concluding that I could
just rebuild me resurrecting everything about
me then refilling my lonely soul with strength,
hope and love from Our father and lord high
above to ending the conflict I have fought
in every battle since my birth in the wars
of humanity from hate and love but alas
I was wrong very mistaken I failed losing
who I was and I am lost losing my way back
home defeated by my own demons inside and
the one born from the very fires of the deepest
depths with ice cold blood running in her veins
being pumped through a heart not there
by a soul who has died and no longer there
created through an evil so great there is no
good to forsake unable to destroy it so selfish
there has been nobody like it created by the
sick and twisted deformed fornication an orgy
of demons and evil construed in the semen
from all the many men and even the devil himself
a prodigy one hundred times greater a daughter
of hate and sinful desire the destroyer of men
and children's innocence she is a thief, whore,
and liar using the face of an angel whom she
caused to fall from heavens grace luring to
the other side than plunging the devils own
knife ripping out it soul than tearing off its face
while it was devouring its flesh and blood
cutting out its heart to keep as a trophy from
the war doing anything it wants to get every
thing it needs, that started from the destruction
of the missing love that I was no longer able to
see all the while my pounding heart breaks causing
a non existence beat to barely now breath while it
dies a slow death underneath the weight of remorse
and guilt of those many decisions that I should
have but did not ever make as I now wait to die.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey

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