blessing or a curse

Blessing or curse 

I am still not really quite sure if

knowing you all of these years has 

been a blessing or a curse or could even 

be maybe just a little bit of both, 

part of me is so very grateful that in 

my life I got to know someone who is 

as

beautiful as you, for it is like checking

out a beautiful priceless piece of

treasured art whose real beauty 

can only be seen up close, to see

the individual brush strokes along

with the vibrant colors gorgeous

curves and lines on a painting that

has been around for a thousand

years maybe more that may have

In fact taken the artist maybe

years 

even a whole lifetime to

finish, and 

yet it took only just a few brief 

moments, just several grains of sand, 

just the tick of a tock on a clock, 

to see, that the real beauty was not

only on the outside that anyone 

can obviously see no I am talking 

deep down the beauty that lives 

inside of you, your beating heart and 

free and wild soul that shall never 

be tamed, so ever since we first 

met whenever you are around or I hear 

your voice

no matter how I am feeling you

put a smile on my face causing 

me

to fall in love with you on several

different levels, which is also a

curse that I will always carry as I 

know now that you will never feel the 

same for me, and even though 

throughout the many years, we have 

been so many different

things to 

each other I truly feel very blessed 

to have had the pleasure of knowing 

you and even after all of the laughter 

and the many tears that we both had 

to endure the one thing that has

remained is a bond that we share 

created many years ago so that when 

we have taken on the different paths 

in life, when they do cross again 

and they always will, it is like

seeing 

an old lost friend, you see

life is a 

sometimes a funny thing

causing 

situations to always change except 

for my feelings that seem to grow 

stronger every day, which is where the 

the curse comes in to be or not to be 

that is the real question that I must 

alone always continue to ask me, myself, 

and I which is solely on me, not you or

yourself at all. Do I step back

and move 

on to a different path or stay the course 

sure and steady which I am so unsure 

of, for as my greatest muse the one 

who inspires me in so many ways 

giving me the inspiration to write 

some of the most beautiful

pieces 

of poetry that I have or will have 

ever written as my friend I am

always 

wanting more as a former

lover I will 

always regret that it ended and so 

on so forth which I have found you 

have become somehow every thought I 

think every wish I wish for and every 

dream that I dream at night, and all 

my nightmares too, so can you tell 

me what I should do? Dare I wait for 

an answer I know will never come? 

Or just thank God for what we had, 

what we have, and wait to see what 

tomorrow will bring? What ever 

happens just know that I will alway 

love you no matter if you love me too. 

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. 

A Poet's Journey 

A Texas Poet Laureate Nominee 2016-2020