Every year at Christmas

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and you and all your families have a Happy and Safe New Year.

Please reach out to your estranged loved ones who may be lost to addiction or other mental health afflictions try one last time to save them and bring them back home..

As I have posted for the last three years I dedicate this to all my sons, who deserve more in life than I myself could ever give them so as I do every year I am asking, no, I get down on my knees and I pray for God and all four of my boys to please forgive me, Michael, Bryan, Dakotah, and Ryder all whom I do love indeed whose souls I can see every single night as I look up to the stars as I quietly whisper a wish to all that is good that they forgive me and a find the path that led back home to me, just so I can let them know how sorry that I am that our lives got somehow turned upside down creating so much chaos that we all got lost in the sands of time where I search for away to free us, with each day the sun comes up to warm and light the world anew except for the world that I am in where mine gets darker with the setting of the moon, where the bitter cold and lifeless air smells as if death is knocking at my door but when I open it up to see who is there I never find anyone except my broken dreams laying on the floor, all of my thoughts now fade away just  a little more each day so that I will not lose my mind as my hair is turning grey, and as darkness starts to creep in shutting out the light I grab my weapons and charge the line battling until the death myself and all of my damned old demons some I win pushing back my end a little more each win to give me the time back I need to search the paths of all you have lost when inflicted by addiction, lost in the foggy banks of sadness and the caverns of depression, my hopes of finding the way back to who I was is block by years of indecisions of questions that were never asked and regret of many of my own decisions, except the ones that I now make trying to right all my wrongs in life, so that maybe one day we will all be sitting down at a table, all five of us together, holding hands  while thanking God for our blessing while having Christmas dinner.

I love you and miss you more everyday

Your Father

Richard M Knittle Jr. ©
© A #Poets Journey

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The map on my heart