A true story about my demons

A true story about my demons

Night had fallen so I was sitting
there all alone staring at the fire
that was keeping me warm lost
in my own thoughts of love lost
and found with a pen in my hand
spilling ink on the blank pieces of
paper spread across my desk
over filling while falling onto the
ground, then I felt the air around me
as it started becoming very cold so
I took a quick look around me to
look for an open window or door but
There was none, then an icy chill
went through me like someone had
stepped right on top of my grave
not one that you shutter for a few
moments but for a long while then
as it seemed time itself begin to slow
down to nothing more then a crawl
as even the shadows being created by
the fire were barely even moving as
they were being cast upon the wall
I nearly jumped up and ran out of the
Room and out of the door because to
the truth I was damn scared but that
is when I felt a hand placed down very
heavily on my right shoulder as it
grabbed me and started tugging me,
pulling me back into my chair as I
looked over I could clearly see the
arm of my hoodie as it pushed me
back down so I would stay, at that
moment I did not feel fear at all but
more a clarity in my heart, then like
someone sat on my chest pushing
the air out of my lungs I felt a very
deep sadness unlike I have ever felt
before come over me and tears from
out of nowhere begin to flow streaming
down my face like a
summer thunder storm all in very
slow motion that so much so that I
could clearly see each teardrop and
my reflection looking back at me as
each one hit the floor causing a
hundred tiny little splashes of my
face looking back up causing a kind
of paradox deep down in my soul,
Then what I saw next out of the
corner of my eye hiding was the
distinct shadow of what I knew was
a demon I know for sure because in
my past have fought them before but
this one was different it was much
bigger and stronger I can tell by the
horns and I felt so much anger and
rage that it actually scared the hell
out of me I wanted no part of that
thing yet though his eyes that were
moving staring at me with a gaze of
Utter resentment I could see that it
clearly was here for me I knew he
wanted me but he could not move
frozen in some kind of trance pissed
Off ready to dance with then as I sat
there terrified but could not move
either I saw a shimmer of light appear
and not but a few feet apart was the
most beautiful sight an angel looking
right back at me filling my heart with
love which neither is uncommon apart
and on their own so it confused me
on what was going on but I have a
very distinct feeling that for me a new
battle is about to begin and I am
going to be stuck right in the middle
again, like the ones that l have already
won but much bigger than a of the
others combined and although I am
so very tired of fighting with Gods help
I shall defeat this demon again. You
see we all that is every person who is
born upon this earth has their own
demons that lives inside and every
day we must decide if we want live
and fight them just to stay alive or just
give up and give in let the demons
win, a personal decision we must face
And I, well I choose to live and fight
not just for me but my children,
friends, and family so I refuse to let
depression, mental illness, bad
relationships, and addiction rule my
life any longer so I must take a stand
And fight the battles and someday
I have hope and faith that I will win
and let light shine again.

Richard M Knittle Jr. ©
© A #Poets Journey

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