Escape my own mind

Escape my own mind


I have been here for many long
years now, how many you ask?
Ten maybe even twenty to be
honest it has been so damn
long I just cannot remember
but the one thing I do know
is I have cried at least a million
tears. Today, well I am still here
trapped hidden away and forgotten
about by everyone in this prison
behind the bars for there are
no walls for me to write on and
no windows to look through so
I can see I am completely blinded
by the darkness of my incoherent
insanity, it is a very hard time I am
so very cold and lonely please I beg
of you, somebody anybody help
me get away from here do you not
hear my screams? Tomorrow then
the next and all the days after that
I will still be here behind the invisible
fence are their others? No, it is
only just me all alone in my own
solitary confinement. Why am l here?
Simple really nothing but fear of the
unknown from the shadows of sorrow
and regret that was chasing me,
so I locked myself away in a cell of
my own design so I could not escape
on my own all because I was being
hunted down every day by addiction
after I had unleashed my demons I
had no help nobody forced it on me I
searched it out so the blame is not
on anybody else for I caused it all
myself so now I must pay the price
while doing the time until I can be
sober like I used to be a very long
time ago, going through a recovery
you might say trying to rediscover
myself day by day until that evil disease
is no longer part of me. I lost what
and who was close to me, it cost me
everything lying to all of those I had
loved the most hiding the track
marks and bruises up and down my
arms I had become a menace a
danger to myself and society so I
did what I had to do to at least save
who was left of me and here I will
stay forever if that is what it takes
always hoping that maybe one day I
will wake up from the nightmare in
which I now live and I will finally
remember me and who I used to be
so that I can escape this hell open
the door to my cell where I am lost
and trapped in my own mind.


Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet' Journey

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When I close my eyes

When I Close my Eyes I might not be able to change the world and I might not be able to change your mind I might not be able to make you love me but I can dream about It when I close  my eyes late at night when I am living somewhere in my mind for  that is where  I go every chance  When I want to escape All the violence and the hate a place where you and I walk hand and hand Down the peaceful streets At night after our date A place that is filled with laughter and tears drinking margaritas on the beach with you while we are dancing in the rain where I always smile and I forget all the pain a place where peace has won the war and race matter not any more where we can all now dance out in the streets rich or poor now all live next door to door a place where the sun shines every day and there are no dark clouds anymore where there are no chains that bind us all a...
Read more

It has been 10 years since I wrote my first book.

  "A story of one man's epic love for his son who is not of his blood." One day I was woken up by a dream I think it was really a nightmare I was alone or so I thought, I was seeing shadows and I kept hearing voices whispering in my ear so I started listening and writing it down, I still do that today. That was ten years ago and with those words, I wrote my first book., The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth, It was a whopping fifty-two pages each a separate piece of poetry with extremely bad grammar, misspelled words, and no punctuation I had a good friend go through it when I got it back there were so many red marks I flashed back to high school. It has been on Amazon's top ten Epic Poetry (Free) in the Kindle Store for ten years. Ryder is now eleven years old and doing awesome it really was an epic battle physically, mentally, and emotionally fought in Parker County, Texas. DNA does not matter if you love that child enough and I Proved that. Actually, Attorney Bethel T...
Read more

Happily ever after amen.

Happily ever after amen.  Every now and then you will meet someone that makes your heart begin to pound so hard that it feels as if it will break through your chest or crack a few ribs at best, as you can hear  your blood flowing through  your veins like a mighty river fed by the rains of angry massive wintkrms to the sea also making it hard to breathe as you start to feel the heat coming from somewhere down deep in your soul smoldering until you see her beautiful face then your heated passion takes control igniting a raging fire the is now burning out of control as it feels like it is two hundred fifty degrees and your boiling from the inside, as tears fall from your eyes as their sheer beauty is so bright it leaves you feeling blind, and when they look up and smile at you the oh so real feeling of panic hits you right in the face as you freeze up talking nothing but gibberish losing all concept of speech and losing control of your knees falling to the ground as if you w...
Read more