Escape my own mind

Escape my own mind

I have been here for many long
years now, how many you ask?
Ten maybe even twenty to be
honest it has been so damn
long I just cannot remember
but the one thing I do know
is I have cried at least a million
tears. Today, well I am still here
trapped hidden away and forgotten
about by everyone in this prison
behind the bars for there are
no walls for me to write on and
no windows to look through so
I can see I am completely blinded
by the darkness of my incoherent
insanity, it is a very hard time I am
so very cold and lonely please I beg
of you, somebody anybody help
me get away from here do you not
hear my screams? Tomorrow then
the next and all the days after that
I will still be here behind the invisible
fence are their others? No, it is
only just me all alone in my own
solitary confinement. Why am l here?
Simple really nothing but fear of the
unknown from the shadows of sorrow
and regret that was chasing me,
so I locked myself away in a cell of
my own design so I could not escape
on my own all because I was being
hunted down every day by addiction
after I had unleashed my demons I
had no help nobody forced it on me I
searched it out so the blame is not
on anybody else for I caused it all
myself so now I must pay the price
while doing the time until I can be
sober like I used to be a very long
time ago, going through a recovery
you might say trying to rediscover
myself day by day until that evil disease
is no longer part of me. I lost what
and who was close to me, it cost me
everything lying to all of those I had
loved the most hiding the track
marks and bruises up and down my
arms I had become a menace a
danger to myself and society so I
did what I had to do to at least save
who was left of me and here I will
stay forever if that is what it takes
always hoping that maybe one day I
will wake up from the nightmare in
which I now live and I will finally
remember me and who I used to be
so that I can escape this hell open
the door to my cell where I am lost
and trapped in my own mind.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet' Journey


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