I have forgotten


I have forgotten

I wonder what it was I might
have done in my life to
deserve just how it is that I
feel, which I can tell you
starts with a sadness so
deep I can feel it all the way
down to my soul, just like
whenever I close my eye at
night and try to dream a
darkness will take full control
causing my body to shiver
and shake aching from the
bitter cold, I just do not know
why it feels like I am always
so alone no matter who it is
that may be around and why
can I not smile anymore is it
because I have forgotten
what laughter is all about?
Now that I have been 
thinking it seems to me that
the only thing I can feel is
only numb inside, I cannot
love or even hate it is like my
emotions have either got lost
or maybe even died in fact I
do not care about anything at
all not even my own fate, so
now I guess am stuck right
here where I stand since they
all say that you should never
need to go backwards to face
your past again and moving
forward is something that I
just could never quite
comprehend so now I feel 
like I am a zombie walking
here and there like I am in a
fog wandering back and forth
to and fro never remembering
where I was why I was there
then not knowing where it is
I am supposed to go, I try so
hard to scream, shout and or
cry but not a teardrop will fall,
feeling no hurt, no joy, no pain,
no nothing, nothing at all, I look
outside to find the sun but a
darkness is all I see not a single
 ray of light will shine so I fall
hard down to my knees shaking
my head wondering to myself
outloud as I look up to sky not
sure if He is even home or even
worse if I can still believe, for
I have no fear at all of death
or even heaven way above
because I have already been
traveling through the very
depths of hell coming back
from the valley of death
where I left the shadows
of my past alive and well trying
to find my future finding it is
only just a blur watching as
the sands of time now fall
faster then before with each
and every grain of sand
etched with the faces of my
life every single one I had
truly loved who have all but
now forsaken me leaving me
to die alone as true love can
and will never last in a world
such as this.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When I close my eyes

When I Close my Eyes I might not be able to change the world and I might not be able to change your mind I might not be able to make you love me but I can dream about It when I close  my eyes late at night when I am living somewhere in my mind for  that is where  I go every chance  When I want to escape All the violence and the hate a place where you and I walk hand and hand Down the peaceful streets At night after our date A place that is filled with laughter and tears drinking margaritas on the beach with you while we are dancing in the rain where I always smile and I forget all the pain a place where peace has won the war and race matter not any more where we can all now dance out in the streets rich or poor now all live next door to door a place where the sun shines every day and there are no dark clouds anymore where there are no chains that bind us all a...
Read more

It has been 10 years since I wrote my first book.

  "A story of one man's epic love for his son who is not of his blood." One day I was woken up by a dream I think it was really a nightmare I was alone or so I thought, I was seeing shadows and I kept hearing voices whispering in my ear so I started listening and writing it down, I still do that today. That was ten years ago and with those words, I wrote my first book., The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth, It was a whopping fifty-two pages each a separate piece of poetry with extremely bad grammar, misspelled words, and no punctuation I had a good friend go through it when I got it back there were so many red marks I flashed back to high school. It has been on Amazon's top ten Epic Poetry (Free) in the Kindle Store for ten years. Ryder is now eleven years old and doing awesome it really was an epic battle physically, mentally, and emotionally fought in Parker County, Texas. DNA does not matter if you love that child enough and I Proved that. Actually, Attorney Bethel T...
Read more

Happily ever after amen.

Happily ever after amen.  Every now and then you will meet someone that makes your heart begin to pound so hard that it feels as if it will break through your chest or crack a few ribs at best, as you can hear  your blood flowing through  your veins like a mighty river fed by the rains of angry massive wintkrms to the sea also making it hard to breathe as you start to feel the heat coming from somewhere down deep in your soul smoldering until you see her beautiful face then your heated passion takes control igniting a raging fire the is now burning out of control as it feels like it is two hundred fifty degrees and your boiling from the inside, as tears fall from your eyes as their sheer beauty is so bright it leaves you feeling blind, and when they look up and smile at you the oh so real feeling of panic hits you right in the face as you freeze up talking nothing but gibberish losing all concept of speech and losing control of your knees falling to the ground as if you w...
Read more