I am a man

I AM A MAN... 

I am not really sure whether or not I

should hate and despise you cursing 

out whenever I hear your name or 

idolize and praise you for the masterful 

way you destroyed me with all your 

evil games, causing me to forever 

now hang my head down in shame 

while always having to feel the 

excruciating pain from all the broken 

hearts you have ever caused me, even

while you kept on laughing deep down 

inside because your sick twisted 

mind thinks it is funny to watch 

me as I bleed, falling on my knees 

while pleading for my life begging 

please show me just a little bit of 

attention only needing some love and 

affection but never receiving anything

but abuse of which I cannot even 

mention, nothing at all, no kissing, 

or touching, not even some hugging, 

always making me feel as if I was one 

of the loneliest person's alive that has 

left me with several afflictions like PTSD

and severe clinical depression hoping no 

wishing praying that I could just die... 

But I did not no, not even close, for 

the blood I was bleeding became the ink 

that I was spilling creating those words 

floating around in my head somehow 

bringing me back from the dead 

allowing God to spell out his plan in 

a way only I could understand allowing all

His love that I wanted to flow all through 

me while giving me the hope and the 

strength to never giving up again 

as my King then crowned me with a

Sword he did hand me which you called 

only a pen, as I slowly got up off of 

my knees stood up, breaking free of 

the darkness that had once surrounded 

me, looking up into the sun as the 

sweat dripped from my skin reminding 

me of who and what I am, a Father, 

a son, a leader among men, a child 

in Gods home I am a man who now 

takes a stand and never shall I go 

back there again.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. 

A Poet's Journey