I am a man

I AM A MAN... 

I am not really sure whether or not I
should hate and despise you cursing 
out whenever I hear your name or 
idolize and praise you for the masterful 
way you destroyed me with all your 
evil games, causing me to forever 
now hang my head down in shame 
while always having to feel the 
excruciating pain from all the broken 
hearts you have ever caused me, even
while you kept on laughing deep down 
inside because your sick twisted 
mind thinks it is funny to watch 
me as I bleed, falling on my knees 
while pleading for my life begging 
please show me just a little bit of 
attention only needing some love and 
affection but never receiving anything
but abuse of which I cannot even 
mention, nothing at all, no kissing, 
or touching, not even some hugging, 
always making me feel as if I was one 
of the loneliest person's alive that has 
left me with several afflictions like PTSD
and severe clinical depression hoping no 
wishing praying that I could just die... 

But I did not no, not even close, for 
the blood I was bleeding became the ink 
that I was spilling creating those words 
floating around in my head somehow 
bringing me back from the dead 
allowing God to spell out his plan in 
a way only I could understand allowing all
His love that I wanted to flow all through 
me while giving me the hope and the 
strength to never giving up again 
as my King then crowned me with a
Sword he did hand me which you called 
only a pen, as I slowly got up off of 
my knees stood up, breaking free of 
the darkness that had once surrounded 
me, looking up into the sun as the 
sweat dripped from my skin reminding 
me of who and what I am, a Father, 
a son, a leader among men, a child 
in Gods home I am a man who now 
takes a stand and never shall I go 
back there again.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. 
A Poet's Journey

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