Why do I always feel.

Why do I always feel

Why do I always feel like such a big
failure in life or is it maybe that 
life has actually failed me? I mean, 
every single relationship I have
ever had always ended badly 
in a world war me, happiness? 
huh, well that seems to be always 
just right out of my reach as 
loneliness and sorrow are now
my best friends, after all, is all that 
I ever see, laughter? Now that is 
a joke right? Well it is not very 
funny besides it took me quite a 
long while to remember what that 
even was, it has been so long since 
I found anything to even laugh 
about, I wake up every single 
morning in an empty bed to the 
echoing sounds of noisy silence 
from an empty home, one where 
children used to play, but 
they are now all grown up  and 
living a life of their own as I was 
only getting in their way, the phone 
hanging on the wall never rings 
and the knocker on the door just
collects dust only another reminder
of the sign of the times, all of the 
hopes and dreams I once had 
growing up never did come true as 
nightmares now fill my nights about 
dying all alone and nobody to say 
goodbye or I love you, the only 
conversations I ever have these
days are with those damn condescending 
voices that never shut up in my head, I
have so many questions that I never got
to ask with answers that I know 
will never come, so here I wait all by 
myself ready for God to take me
home but I do wonder why it feels like I am already dead
to everyone.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey


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