I will once again remember what it is like to smile

I will once again remember what it is like to smile. 

Even with all of the many headaches 
I have had when it comes to falling in 
love and choosing who I want to be with, 
making mistakes is a daily occurrence 
just another annoyance in the life I have 
lived, like everytime I take a shower to 
clean up whenever I open the door to walk 
outside all I do is step in shit every single 
time, the problem is I truly think that I 
may be cursed, it has to be for when I 
say yes my head shakes no when I take 
a gamble and roll the dice I crap out 
all the time playing Black Jack or 
twenty one I end up with twenty two 
I look outside and see the sun shining 
all around so I walk out and it begins to 
rain but only where I am maybe I 
should change my name to shleprock 
for the only luck I ever get is the bad
kind so whenever I do start looking I 
mean if I do for someone maybe even 
a new love one that I will most likely 
screw up anyway like I have so many 
times before, maybe I went about it 
the wrong way, we meet and kiss a few 
days later we are moving in together 
always jumping in feet first landing in 
a pool that was already drained of 
course  I should have known better but 
I do it anyway, so maybe if I had asked a 
few questions it would have saved me 
all the pain of the breakups along with 
the ugly divorces, it does finally occur 
to me after four failed marriages 
that the next time if there is one after, 
oh, I say maybe a few years of dating 
I need to ask these questions, 
like I wonder if you would know my 
name if I walked on by you, would you 
recognize my face if I look right at you, 
am I on your mind when we are not 
together, am I the first one that you 
think off every morning when you wake 
up, will I be the one to fill your dreams at 
night when I am not asleep by your 
side, when I walk into a dark room does 
It light up, does your heat beat faster 
and does your temperature rise 
whenever I get close and look in your 
eyes, because that is the kind of love I 
have always wanted and always 
given I only ask you this for anytime I 
fall in love you are all that I can think 
of every day and night it feels as if you 
have been gone forever when you are 
not standing by my side you are what 
dreams are made of in a world that is
filled with nightmares in the day light and 
no matter who I am with your all I ever 
think of and that is what true love is all 
about  it has taken me a very long time 
to figure that out and I only hope and 
pray that she is still out there beliving in 
the same things I do and when or if 
we ever meet it will change our luck 
for the better and I will once again 
remember what it is like to smile. 

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. 
A Poet's Journey 


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