I will once again remember what it is like to smile

I will once again remember what it is like to smile. 

Even with all of the many headaches 

I have had when it comes to falling in 

love and choosing who I want to be with, 

making mistakes is a daily occurrence 

just another annoyance in the life I have 

lived, like everytime I take a shower to 

clean up whenever I open the door to walk 

outside all I do is step in shit every single 

time, the problem is I truly think that I 

may be cursed, it has to be for when I 

say yes my head shakes no when I take 

a gamble and roll the dice I crap out 

all the time playing Black Jack or 

twenty one I end up with twenty two 

I look outside and see the sun shining 

all around so I walk out and it begins to 

rain but only where I am maybe I 

should change my name to shleprock 

for the only luck I ever get is the bad

kind so whenever I do start looking I 

mean if I do for someone maybe even 

a new love one that I will most likely 

screw up anyway like I have so many 

times before, maybe I went about it 

the wrong way, we meet and kiss a few 

days later we are moving in together 

always jumping in feet first landing in 

a pool that was already drained of 

course  I should have known better but 

I do it anyway, so maybe if I had asked a 

few questions it would have saved me 

all the pain of the breakups along with 

the ugly divorces, it does finally occur 

to me after four failed marriages 

that the next time if there is one after, 

oh, I say maybe a few years of dating 

I need to ask these questions, 

like I wonder if you would know my 

name if I walked on by you, would you 

recognize my face if I look right at you, 

am I on your mind when we are not 

together, am I the first one that you 

think off every morning when you wake 

up, will I be the one to fill your dreams at 

night when I am not asleep by your 

side, when I walk into a dark room does 

It light up, does your heat beat faster 

and does your temperature rise 

whenever I get close and look in your 

eyes, because that is the kind of love I 

have always wanted and always 

given I only ask you this for anytime I 

fall in love you are all that I can think 

of every day and night it feels as if you 

have been gone forever when you are 

not standing by my side you are what 

dreams are made of in a world that is

filled with nightmares in the day light and 

no matter who I am with your all I ever 

think of and that is what true love is all 

about  it has taken me a very long time 

to figure that out and I only hope and 

pray that she is still out there beliving in 

the same things I do and when or if 

we ever meet it will change our luck 

for the better and I will once again 

remember what it is like to smile. 

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. 

A Poet's Journey