I  myself have been diagnosed with PTSD or Post Trumatic Stress Disorder but not from any of my three honorable discharges but from an abusive relationship I was in. This is just one sad scenario of five that I have written. Though PTSD has been connected with combat veterans both men, woman have been diagnosed from abuse and trumatic incidents and children up to 98% in CPS have also been found to have PTSD. 

As the soldier stood there looking down 
at the enemy that he just fought, beat 
and threw to the ground he thought
where he come from it had happened so 
fast there was not even a sound
except for the ones that were in his own 
head the sounds from a war that had
served with honor but that is now over 
except for the memories' and the same 
one that he had saved all the lives of
his men making him a hero no not to all
but to some and as she lay there now
bleeding profusely everywhere from a
beating that she just had from a man 
that she had known, high school sweethearts
that she had married right before 
the war had begun, confused she looked 
up terrified so afraid to make even a sound
to this man her husband right above her but he
was not the same man that she kissed? 
and hugged while she cried before he left 
that came home, she remembered the 
wedding as she lay on the ground of their 
home bleeding out with tears flowing for
the man that just beat her down as he screamed 
in another language, she did not understand
he was screaming almost begging for her
stop and drop the weapon in her hand which
was only a knife she was using to cook the
dinner she was making for their third anniversary
and tell him about his child she was
carrying, she tried to tell him very nicely that 
he was the only one but anger and chaos 
was all that this man could understand you see
this man, soldier, husband, and father was 
now lost to a war in his own mind for he was only
still killing the enemy to save the others behind 
their own lines the war never ended for him or 
others, he is stuck there inside of himself and
diagnosed with what they now call PTSD 
with nowhere to run too and nowhere to hide
She never knew what had happened that 
very sad day, the one that she took a 
beating but never tried to hurt anyone,
the very same day that she had died she never 
knew what she ever did wrong 
she never did lie to him or anything at all
she only knew how much that she loves him
she only knew he was different after the war
with anger and sadness and nightmares, 
she tried everything she could
to help him that is one thing she did know, the
only word she could ask herself was why.
"WHY?" as she lay there bleeding looking 
up to the sky and as her eyes closed for
the very last time she whispered put with her
last breath "Please God help me just take me 
can you Just tell me what happened, please? 

tell me why?"

Why? That is what I am asking 
our government why? 
We send these men and 
woman to die in all Their made-up wars
to kill and to die for just the
almighty dollar and not
much more, I mean that we take them and train 
them to kill without a sound but they are still only 
children just turning eighteen like the video games 
that our small children have now found 
and then we bring them back after it is over
and they set them all free
fighting in the name of freedom
for you and me, yet they are homeless now
with nothing to eat fighting mental illness and
living on the street why?

I will ask you over and over why?


To a government that 
ignores me and all our heroes of the war 

Why are the homeless? 
Why can you not house them? 
Why are they hungry?
Why can't you feed them?
Why do they hurt now?

I am talking about all the ones who fought 
for you all in freedoms name, you know the children
just eighteen who you taught to kill and now going
insane doing what they were trained for.
Why do you not help them like they did
for you Why will you not heal them after
they did what you asked them too and nothing 
more our heroes are dying by their own 
hands, why do they deserve this?

Why? Mr. President 
Why? Mr. House of Representatives
Why? Mr. Congresswomen 


Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poets Journey
Texas Poet Laureate Nominee 2016-2020  


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