Why do I always feel

Why do I always feel

Why do I always feel like a big
failure in life or is it maybe that
life has actually failed me? I mean,
every single relationship I have
ever had always ended in a world
war me, happiness? huh, well that
seems to be always just right out
of my reach as loneliness who is
my best friend, after all, is all that I
ever see, laughter? that's a joke
right? not very funny besides it took
me quite a long while to remember
what that even was, it has been so
long since I found anything to even
laugh about, I wake up every single
morning to the sounds of silence
from an empty home one where
children once used to play, but they
are now all grown up and living a
life of their own as I was only getting
in their way, the phone hanging on
the wall never rings and the knocker
on the door collects dust just another
sign of the times, all of the hopes and
dreams I once had growing up never
did come true as nightmares now fill
my nights about dying all alone and
the only conversations I ever have these
days are with those damn condescending
voices that never shut up in my head, I
have so many questions that I never got
to ask along with answers that I know
will never come, so here I wait all by
myself ready to die and let God take me
home but I do wonder am I already dead
to everyone.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey