Realization of living all alone

My friend, lover, family, muse, and more I bid you ado and godspeed in your new journey. May your path be pure and Poetry fill your heart and all of the ink that I have ever written for you flow freely like your wild soul.

Realization of living all alone

Before you go I just needed you to
know that you have been the light
in my life of darkness the joy in a
life that has none and I am so very
blessed for the moments in time
that God had allowed us but I do
honestly, understand why you
feel that you must leave, you see,
my life today now seems as if
it is missing something very
important in it like the beating
of my heart as sadness now
has taken full control, as little
pieces of it are lost every day,
causing it to slowly start to fall
apart and the pain now has
become so unbearable that I just
sometimes want to take a knife
and cut it out, while all of the
memories of my painful past
play over and over constantly
never ending without stopping
like it is nothing more then a
broken record as it begins to
skip between the scenes of my
memories from start to end
moving forward and backwards
then as the quite echoes of our
lost laughter bounce back and
forth off the walls and ceilings
throughout my mind and teardrops
begin to fall down around me like
a bad winters storm bringing with
it sorrow and regret like raging
flood waters to wash away all that
I ever was then getting colder as
the winds of change blow in and
the pouring rain turns to hail to
destroy who it is I am right now
today, and as I look at what I have
accomplished in my life I find
myself standing at the precipice
of greatness yet hanging off the
ledge of insanity while all of my
life long dreams have been slowly
dying for many agonizing days
and nights have been taken over
by the frightening nightmares of a
realization of living all alone in
such a lost and broken world that
is so full of violence and anger
where hate has become the king
causing love to become nothing
more than a four-letter word that
nobody has time for or even really
believes in anyways anymore, so
even as you move on with your
life further away from mine all of
those feelings that we share
between us are now starting to
fade away and I know you in your
mind you can see me as I am
digging a six-foot hole, in which I
shall bury both of our secrets
that we hold that no one ever will while
throwing flowers on the ground
and kneeling when the casket
comes around holding the remains
of our love that used to be for
when someone stops loving you
a part of their soul dies away and
when you end a friendship one like
ours, it feels as if I too have died,
along with a wish from a falling
star which shall never see the
light and as I lay here in the ink
black darkness surrounded by the
many questions which now bind
me to the answers of which I will
never know your name shall be
that breath I will ever take.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey
Texas Poet Laureate Nominee 2016-2020

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