If there was ever a time

If there was ever a time

If there was ever a time in my life
lord that I ever truly needed you, I
would need to say that it would be
right now, as in here at the this very
moment right now today. As I know
that you with all your Glory can see
me and that I am down upon the
ground right here on this very spot
below you on my knees begging you
please calling out to you, not sure what
to do while seeking out in a certain kind
misapprehension for my incomprehension,
of what is the right thing to do and what is
wrong letting my addiction cause so much 
transgression against all of those whom I
love so without any kind of deception, I
am needing my redemption as I give you
my full and honest confession with
absolutely no reprehension, for my part in
humanity's dissension over its obsession
in connection with the infection that
spreads unabated with no cure at all, so in
the glorious name of all the heavenly
angels can I asked as I scream "can you
hear me as I am calling out your names,
if you do hear me and you are listening to all
the words I need to say? I am praying hard
hoping for your help from high aloft to fly
down and protect all of those who now
surround me for they are all of the ones
that I care about in my life more than any
thing at all, I am begging you ho we call
the  Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost to
forgive me for I know that have sinned, by
letting all of the demons the ones who reside
inside of me whom I battle every single day
for what? This damn war that seems as if it
will never end? And if my demons do finally
beat me please know that I fought the best I
could, I truly am very sorry but I have been
waging a war now for so very long, battling
with everything I have to give until it is all gone
, every day to try and
get ahead just to lose more ground fighting
in the streets, hand to hand day and night
night and day just hoping I can stay alive
to see the sunrise one more time against
all the demons that this world spawns, love
in every shape and form, a family whose blood
matters not and so-called friends who will
stab you in the back and now here it is today
fifty-two years later on my last birthday wondering
if I will see the next, the fight grows colder
every year I get older tired and sore from all pain
and wounds that I have endured and I have been
asked by everyone around who would like
to know which has been the hardest one, so I
guess if I had to pick it would be a draw for sure
because love has hurt me more than all the
others combined and have caused me so much
sorrow and pain enough to drive anyone else
 insane and many times it broke my heart in two, 
but the demons well they took my soul taking
every day just a little bit piece by piece until there
was nothing more.
I bet you are asking yourself about the rest of
this story wondering what happened next did
I lose or did I win, to tell you the truth I do not
know I am not really too sure for I have won a
few some I lost too but most of the time neither
 were true, I have heard that you can win all the
battles but still, lose the war but more so what I
have found is no matter how many battles that
you fight in this life or what you are fighting for
whether you win them all or lose every single
one because as soon as one battle is over there
will always be another war.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey

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