Feeling like a Stone

Sitting on the dirty cold floor

feeling like you are all alone staring

 at a wall just wanting to cry and

break down praying to your 

God that you want to come home it feels like there is nothing left

here for you anymore so

you just want to die you do not

know where you are going or

what you are going to do

yesterday is already forgotten

 soon today will be too as tomarrow

may just never come

you just want to feel better

and you want to know why

do I feel the way I do I mean

why can I not stop crying

why do I feel all so alone

why can I not smile anymore

why do I feel like a rock just

a stone

what am I afraid of

where has everyone gone

I mean I think I remember 

the happy times but it has

 been so damn very long

why can anyone hear me 

when I yell out my silent screams

the one i asked for help with

or was it all a nightmare or

was it all a bad dream

I can not keep on going

like the way it is now

I know i need to get better

but somebody please

show me the hell how

I have tried every pill that

 they gave me but they

never last for all that very long

before the darkness

and those sad feelings come

back and this time they

are even more strong

the hope I had is now fading 

and my strength is

no longer there I feel like

I am drowning in the ocean

of sorrow, regret, and deep despair

One day I will feel  better

and these feelings of darkness

and gloom will finally end

either by God grace and his glory, a doctor, or on its own because if

not I will end it on my terms when I am ready with my own hands

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.

A #Poets Journey

Texas Poet Laureate Nominee 2016-2020


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