Spilled Ink from the heart and soul of Poet and Author Richard M Knittle Jr.

Written and Produced by Richard M Knittle Jr. Music and Vocals by Wes Smith Video and Song about addiction and mental health

Written and Produced by Richard M Knittle Jr. Music and Vocals by Warren Walker A song about addiction

A little bit more As I was staring just outside the window in my room this  morning watching as the raindrops fell from the ominous dark clouds that were covering the cold winter skies  looking at the now empty streets being cleaned up by  all of the water that was rushing by I saw a bolt of lightning flash as it lit up what looked like the whole entire world  just as the thunder crashed causing me to jump back in  my seat just a little bringing me back from where I was lost in the shadows of forgotten memories somewhere  deep down within my mind, I began feeling an emptiness  as it filled my soul coming over me while a deep sadness  started to weigh heavy on my heart, then I started thinking about my past and all the issues I have had in relationships then I thought maybe all of the love that I have been looking  for throughout my entire life has not really been missing  after all, it could really be that I have in actuality  always been searching for something that is just a bit more

Remember that real beauty comes from Inside.  "Forever in my Mind" Have I told you just how beautiful you are today? If I have not well that is a shame on me because you are very much just as one of my beautiful  dreams that feel as if it is coming alive, one, that has lived a lifetime forever in my mind and I get a feeling that I have searched for you back through all the sands of time and I am a lucky man for the beauty that you exude comes from deep within you which makes you a very special woman whom in a this very ugly world that we seem to have found ourselves in, is a one of a kind that I love to always see, a priceless piece of  treasured art that no amount of money could ever buy, and one who I feel lucky enough to ever find, so please  accept my sincere apologies if I have not told you just how  incredibly beautiful you are  today then if you me just say  that your beauty now consumes me like the warmth o the sun enthralling all of my senses to  no end, a captivated

Carrying hate and anger inside will destroy you, you need to forgive and let it go, it has taken 13 years for me. Now I will pay for it for the rest of my life..  I heard a familer tune  It been thirteen years and counting since we  went our separate ways, yet my mind now and  then still wanders to those days of you and I,  yet I do not know why, just the other day I got  a little lonely so I went to the bar to throw down  a few beers, I looked up when i heard a familer  tune my heart begun to race as tears fell down  my face and my mind began remembering me  and you out on that dance floor dancing to Neon  Moon , waltzing across the floor with Brooks and  Dunn, then two stepping as dwight sang dixie as  he died, on the streets of Bakersfield, a thousand  miles  from nowhere, staring into each others eyes, promising forever, which I tried so hard to find  but you broke my heart for good, it never worked  the same, so I fell into a dark place that I still  live today, nothing ever matte

2019 has been one of the worst years of my life although I did meet a few cool people who i call friends, the rest of the year can kiss my ass. I gotta believe that 2020 will be an epic year.. Many blessings to all of you and your families may 2020 be as cool and radical to you as a summer day surfing Malibu Ca. Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.  A Poet's Journey 

That was a long time ago Once upon a time I lived happily  ever after but that was a long time ago, way back when I still  believed in fairy tales and wishing  on falling stars, no Santa Claus  or even love, or magic of any kind, no family nor friends or even the end since it feels like  that day will never come, matter  of fact I do not believe in anything  at all, as my life goes on day after day as it gets darker with every one, i feel so lonely  no matter who might be around  I even try to smile but I forgot what laughter was all about nothing at all matters to me I cannot even care all the things  I liked to do i do not want to do  anymore and the people i cared  for the most in my life well they  do not care for me at all, I look in the mirror and what do I see a stranger standing their so I close my eyes to the darkness where the nightmares  all begin showing me visions of a life that I have no idea, with smiling babies, and fun times I wish that I was there, so i start to cry b

Featuring Three songs Your love is now part of me, You gave me, and Savior.  https://youtu.be/Vop0EIatulU

I have forgotten I wonder what it was I might have done in my life to deserve just how it is that I feel, which I can tell you starts with a sadness so deep I can feel it all the way down to my soul, just like whenever I close my eye at night and try to dream a darkness will take full control causing my body to shiver and shake aching from the bitter cold, I just do not know why it feels like I am always so alone no matter who it is that may be around and why can I not smile anymore is it because I have forgotten what laughter is all about? Now that I have been  thinking it seems to me that the only thing I can feel is only numb inside, I cannot love or even hate it is like my emotions have either got lost or maybe even died in fact I do not care about anything at all not even my own fate, so now I guess am stuck right here where I stand since they all say that you should never need to go backwards to face your pas

A Christmas tale of one idiot.  Whenever I hear someone say to me "have a Merry Christmas" it really makes  me want to wrap up a big rock in the  Christmas cheer place a pretty bow on it then smile as I throw it through their  God damn window while I am screaming "here bitch is your fucking HoHoHo,"  Then all of the Christmas lights hanging  everywhere I Iook on everything they  can find looking like a stupid Disney movie  causing the cost of electricity to go up giving the crooks, the ones in suites the  greedy bastards who care about nothing  but themselves besides that it hurts my  eyes so bad that I want to break every single bulb like it is bubble wrapper or shoot every  mother fucking one of them then take the  wire and wrapped it around their necks  and hang them up by the chimney with  care as I fill the house with gas and a  yuletide log then light it on  fire so Santa  Clause would not miss it so he can kiss me  ass from the air and then when the carolers

This was something that I was writing to a friend that transformed somehow and became this, I am really starting to think I was born in the wrong century or even the wrong planet. Meant to be As I sit here in the quiet of a sleeping house my mind begins to wander and I start think about you as I always do causing me to wonder where you are at this very moment and what you might be doing right now then I start to realize how much I truly do miss you, not necessarily being together as a couple but the texting all hours of the day and night or talking about this and that, listening to what I need to say, or even as I read you a piece of poetry, you see I love you so very much and I always will but more in a way, you may never really understand. Throughout my entire life I have always felt that I was just I guess a little bit different than anyone else what I mean by that is I think about so

My tired bloodshot eyes open up to a view of the dirty street while someone stole the  shoes  that were on my feet I  am  shivering uncontrollably  because  it is so cold, I am broke  with no  more dope feeling sick to my  stomach  and very hungry just wondering to  myself where in  the hell I am  this time around?  Close my eyes again hoping that  this is  just another nightmare  but it  is not, so I punch the ground break my hand and the tears  begin  to fall then splash  down on the  ground around me, so I scream  out to  nothing but the silent echoes of my own voice, looking all around me but only seeing the shadows of myself looking back at me shaking  their head as if to say what  the hell did you do this time  you loser, you will never  amount to anything, hearing  the familer condescending voice of my father, while seeing the disappointed look on my mothers face, hearing the screaming and the fighting as they argue it is not their fault well he is your son, then I realize that

Some of my photography, poetry in God's creations. Poet Richard M Knittle Jr. A Poet's Journey

Moving down deep. I have been surrounded by a darkness  that somehow seems to be alive,  for the harder I try to fight it, the  colder I become, I can feel it moving  way down deep inside, growing  stronger every day consuming  who I was and used to be and some  of who I am today making it hard  for me to think causing me to panic  so it is hard for me to breath, with a  pain in my chest as it wraps itself  around my heart constricting  so hard  that it feels as if it is crushing my very  soul never showing mercy squeezing  the last remaining life out of me until  I finally pass out falling exhausted,  still in disbelief wishing it was only  just a dream yet knowing it is more a  nightmare, as my eyes have remained  wide open throughout the whole  ordeal but could never see what  was really happening to me just  trying hard to survive always wondering  why me while wiping tears from my face  which is nothing more than a hopeless 

Life goes on I unlock my front door turn the knob and slowly open it letting the sunlight hit  me melting away the darkness that  was covering my skin melting it away causing  a smile to form feeling like a butterfly  emerging from its cocoon allowing me  to spread my wings and feel free, then I breath in and then slowly I let it out  putting one foot in front of the other  day in and day out ever since you  left me I am just trying to figure it  all out taking one day at a time relearning  how do things by myself like a child all  over again now that it is only just me again  not you and I, its been hard I will not lie but you know what? I will be just fine I did it before you came along and I will do  once again just you wait and see,  because I had lived my life just as happy as I could ever be before it was ever  you and me, oh my heart? Well, it has  been broken many times before and  I am quite sure that it will not be the last  t