His diary for a new beginning

His diary for a new beginning

He stood there shaking his head while looking
at himself in the mirror all alone thinking "I am
looking so damn old what the hell happened
to the man that I used to know" as he was walking
back and forth whispering asking questions
then talking to himself just trying to decide If this
was the right time or if he should even go
shivering out of control even though was a
clear summer day terrified that he would not
know what to say making a big fool out of
himself so afraid that she would see right past
his laughter and funny demeanor to the
darkness that lived below where nobody
ver wants to go filled with the secrets that
haunt his broken soul all in the one place
inside where he tries so hard to leave behind
the place of death and unbearable
never-ending pain from where all the
nightmares came many of which still remain
today where he had fought all the wars
filled with demons, addiction, abuse and more
where raging bloody battles went on for years
most of then he won as to why he is still here
some a draw where after months and months
locked in mortal combat as he fought himself
for control of the devices and knives he wanted
to take his own life with and just a very few
that he lost yet they are the ones where his
wounds would not heal leaving deep never
healing scars that still cover his heart where
chunks not just pieces are missing feed to
sorrow and regret for helping his demons
defeat him when they took those who he had
loved the most the father the son and her
holy ghost leaving only his son until that one
day when she played him like only she knew
how drawing his attention away for just a grain
of sand long enough to take and hide away
his fourth son their plan and worked this war
was over for they had won for just a brief
moment in time yet he knows that history
somehow changes all the time. So now he
wonders if this first venture to begin a new
adventure was going to work he really has
no idea all he knows is that he needs to try
besides she makes him smile and that is
something that he has not had in a very long time.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey

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