How the ink begin to flow (Part One)

How the ink begin to flow
(Part One) 

I guess the number one question that
I get asked is who am I? Well I guess
that depends on who you ask, what I
mean by that is I have been called
just about everything under sun some
say I am a friend, others say I am only a stranger while a few call me an 
enemy that they wish they never met, 
all because I fell in love once upon a
time ago with the most beautiful of
fallen angels I ever met at least that
was the lie that I had told myself 
which was that she had saved me 
from a life of loneliness and misery 
by just being there and holding me 
when my life was filled with nothing
more than deep despair but before 
I can really begin the story which 
is one of love and betrayal that had
started with the truth of how I felt 
but ended with her denial of what it 
was worth, so let me start off by 
going back to the very beginning of 
all time, you see everyone who has
actually read the Bible or has gone 
to church already knows the story of
how the Devil, yes the very same
demon who is the epitome of hate 
and evil who was once one of God
closest angels and friend who sat 
right next to God's throne but fell fast
from His grace by wanting to be God
himself and all of his wonderus glory
who then got himself thrown out of 
the golden gates of heaven abruptly 
on his ass, so he took all his hate
and anger out on man by creating all 
of those things that destroy humanity
from deep down within causing an
acute case of insanity to reign
champion over what is reality which
now in its actually creates a high 
rate of mortality in the morality by
destroying the world more and more
everyday as it lives within me too
which then causes a deep down 
rooted depression to step in so I 
start to self medicate to help take
all the pain away so then I am an 
addict which is born now inside of
me, which I truly am but most
definitely a full functioning one 
which I believe is truly not an addict
like my twelve step brethren say
after all, after all addiction is a 
disease that has no cure that kills 
many people and even more families
year after year it is an affliction that 
will grow inside of you that you
cannot stop if your all alone it will
change who you were and what you 
are taking a piece of your heart, 
mind and and soul until one day 
you just disappear forever lost in 
the addiction replaced by your own
demons usually before that though 
your friends and your family will
have given up on you only saying
something like "just know that I
will always love you and I know
that at one time you loved me but
I would rather remember the old
you and not the one that I now see"
then you really are all alone all by
yourself one day transformed into 
a completely different person and 
believe me it is not for the better 
either, then one day not all that long 
ago either maybe by accident or 
even fate I met who I thought was
my soul mate who today I now know
was not and that is where the real
story begins for that is when hell
itself begin to engulf me as I started 
walking hand in hand with my own
demons on the path of my own 
self destruction and how by the 
grace of God go I. 

How the ink begin to flow 
(Part One) 

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey


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