If death had a feeling

If death had a feeling

If death had a feeling I know that loneliness is
how it would feel, as the deep dark sadness of
depression comes on fast and furious than when
it does, it hits you hard and is never easy at all.
The darkness that starts to surround us with a
thick black fog that comes from a brewing storm
in the distance out of nowhere just like a thief in
the darkest of nights coming in to steal all of
your happiness and joy then replacing it with much
regret, unmitigated guilt and sorrow for that is
all you will now feel for quite a long while. Death
is inevitable it is something that will come to you
and I and to the people, we love either by illness,
accident, by God's hands, or even our very own.
There is no laughter at all as death will always
win and if there Is anything funny at all about it
well it is just like a game of chance you will just
never really know how, where, who, or even when.
Those people that are closest to us are the hardest
ones to take as we mourn for our loved ones while
we miss seeing their face as it is always hard when
they are older and have lived a very full life or were
taken by God's hands or even somebody else's knife.
But, the one thing that I believe is the hardest for us
all are those that we need to ask, "Why did they
need to take that suicide fall?" The questions
that we have are many with answers that are so
very few, but please you need to just remember
from deep down inside the fault was not on you.
We take it so very hard and we wonder what did
I do? Maybe I should have said to them more often
how much that "I love you." The children will
wonder and ask was it me? Because maybe if I
was better my mommy or daddy would still be
home where they should be, then a husband or
a wife who is now left behind will think to themselves
"Why did I not see it coming maybe I should have
been home." All of that grieving that you feel has
no set time for it to come to an end, so take your
time and go through the stages that you need to
go through for one day all of that sadness will finally
come to an end and then the anger will come this
I know for sure as thoughts fill your mind that
"maybe they never really loved me or they would
never have left me all behind. I believe that they
are all up in heaven and are much happier than
they were and will be waiting for you with arms
wide open and hugs standing with God and
all of his angels at the golden gates of heavens
door.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey