We fell back in time

With the world, such a mess and COVID 19 continuing to spread there are so many people out of jobs families living on the streets children with nothing to eat mental health is on the rise meaning the suicide rate is getting high what can you do?

Please don't despair you are not alone out there, I know it is very hard but Suicide is not the answer it never is if you need help and you feel there is nowhere to go call me call a family member call a friend call the number to below... 

Help is available

Speak with a counselor today. 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


We fell back in time

As feelings of deep despair and guilt come over 
me like I am being hit very hard and dragged down 
under the cold dark ocean water by giant 
waves of sheer loneliness and sorrow, 
so deep that I am now gasping for a little
air as my lungs are filling with salty water  fighting  
hard not to swallow trying hard to taste the last 
of the air that surrounds me upon my dry cracked 
lips as I start to slowly fall back weighed down by 
the heavy chains made from the many years of 
my regret that fills my broken heart just as all the 
sadness fills my empty soul refusing to let go as 
the dark clouds that are surrounding me following 
my every move I make blocking out the light of the sun I see 
as teardrops fall every night and day causing the 
pain of everything wrong in my life with no end in 
sight as I feel like no one cares and I am alone I 
cannot take this feeling much longer I feel as if maybe I will take 
my own life to escape it as I wonder would anyone even
care? Would anybody know, am I all alone? Is there
anybody home? Can you hear my cries?  Am I 
dead or alive is it day or night I wanna just give up 
this fight maybe it's time to let go the pain I feel is so
unbearable I cannot take it anymore please let me go 
God just take me home 

I wrote that about depression because it is just one way that it makes me feel, never smiling anymore and nothing ever feels real, you do not live life as you just go through it while tears fall every day never knowing why as laughter is forgotten as it left to find a place to die. 

 Empathy will do that as mine is very active 
all the time I can feel the sadness from all those 
around me causing my depression to feel as if it 
may never end again so much sadness in this 
world that it  feels like death may have already 
won as the darkness comes in closer a little more 
each day surrounding us like we are cattle while 
it is controlling our daily lives as we disappear 
slowly one by one consumed by all our fears and 
destroyed by our sins until the day we are all gone 
becoming a ghost of a dead world, the grew
from the first day causing humanity to grow and 
evolve to where it is today were it
seems that we have gone
just as far as we can and now
we are starting to devolve
falling backward through the 
ends of time losing sight
of the light becoming more
cold at heart unable to love anyone else at all 
leaving empty shells of so-called human beings 
who care whereof nothing but themselves it 
is all about me while we fall back in time to the 
land of Adam and eve wearing nothing 
on but a tiny fig leaf a snake and a
tree where it all first begin but
this time maybe Adam could
be more a man grab the snake
off the tree grab the hand of Eve
and walk away from the tree where would 
we be now you think if EVE never ate the fruit
but instead, BBQ'd the snake. 

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey 


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