Tick Tock Tick

Tick tock tick tock

It is three am reads the clock on
my bedroom wall with a steady
tick tock tick tock tick tock that
seems a little louder then I can
remember as I lay there in bed
all alone and feeling lost without
a care if I am alive or dead tick
tock tick tock my mind is very
clouded in a thick black fog
making it very hard to think as
I find it increasingly hard to
sleep tick tock tick tock brrrrr I
shiver from the bitter cold icy
air that has come in from out
of nowhere and there is heavy
feeling of a very deep despair
that is hanging in the room
lingering in the air like an under
lit smoky bar at three am
closing time tick tock tick
tock tick tock that is pressing
down on my chest like a pair
of vice grips then terror comes
over me as realize I am all alone
and unable to move paralyzed
tick tock tick tock tick tock as
I think to myself stop breath
calm down is this real or am I
only having a bad dream or
maybe nightmare yes that is it
it must be as I glance up at the
clock three zero one am waiting
as I try to shake my head that
cannot be right what is going
on how can it be, then the
invisible pressure feels as if
it's being squeezed even harder
still making it almost impossible
to take a breath so I cannot even
breathe as I start to blackout
so I try to scream but only
silence as I mouth the words
"why me" tick tock tick
tock tick tock tick tock I open
my eyes look up at the clock it
reads three zero two am I lay
there while I listen to a silence
that is so loud that the clock
starts to echo in my head tick
tick tock tock tick tick tock tock
again I try to move but cannot
as the room seems to be
getting darker than before all I
can see is the shadows over
me cast by the light of the clock
but wait by the what I squint to
see a bit clearer tick tick tick
tick tock tick tock the heavy
saturated stench of sorrow and
regret fills my nostrils making
me vomit on my chest as the
heavy smoke seems to get
thicker and this fog that has
been clouding my mind starts
to lift as one the shadows yes
one of the shadows is staring
right at me just staring with
blank look then screams so I
close my eyes try to remember
a better time but none come
and all hear is the sound of
silence and the clock getting
louder and louder becoming
unbearable booming everything
is spinning like I am falling
uncontrollably TICK TICK
TICK TICK TOCK TOCK TOCK
TOCK then nothing at all but
the quiet sounds of teardrops
falling to the ground and
someone sobbing in the
distance as I feel a wetness
from my cheeks and I know
that it is coming from me
somewhere deep down inside
as feel the sheer loneliness
start to overtake me and pain
oh God the pain coming from
a broken heart as waves of guilt
come crashing down upon
me like an angry sea in a
hurricane feeling as if I am
being tossed around then
slammed down on the ground
yet cannot move the sobbing
from so hard that it is moving
me from within my own self
then in a blink of an eye there is
nothing except for the sound of
the clock on the wall tick tock
tick tock tick tock three zero
four what felt like hours was
only just minutes just as my
life feels like it will never end
please, somebody, help me why
can I not move or make a sound
except for my own voice in my
head like a narrator reading a
story hahaha no that is crazy
then I start to cry than laugh
what is wrong with me then as I
fall back asleep I look up tick
tock tick tick tick tick then
nothing at all..

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey