Back in the days

Back in the days
Back in the days when I was younger, I can still
very much remember being so carefree and happy
smiling all the time, then a little later even older 
back before I had left my roots and moved to 
Texas, I was laughing while having fun always 
trying hard to have a great time, I was the life of 
the party, the guy who knew everybody and 
everyone knew me, but then something happened 
somewhere in between here right now and there 
back then when the darkness came in covered 
up my light, along loneliness did too all mixed in 
with a deep sadness that I know for sure as soon 
as I crossed the border coming from New Mexico 
I was somehow in some ways cursed by the devil 
himself bent overused shunned by God angel 
abused that's where I must have entered the fiery 
pits of Hell itself, you see for being pretty smart at 
least that is what they say it seems to me that i 
am actually quite the opposite in reality, for I am 
nothing more than letters written across my head 
written for those to read that said idiot or stupid 
tattooed and when they look at me least that is 
what they see, it's true for always believing in 
something that no longer exists called love, trust 
and understanding as I am always only looking 
for the good in people where good is never seen, 
only wanting to belong in anything at all no matter 
what it was even something I know is wrong 
while living, if that is what they call it in the broken 
world of lost and shattered souls and those who 
have no dreams who have heard the dragons 
screams in the rising smoke of the fiery flames
made by the emotionally insane latching on to 
you while corrupting your brain, taking on those 
demons or the succubuses from hells own thrown 
from a queen of sex and lust thinking your so very 
strong finding out just how weak you really are 
to the ones with no soul or heart, I was once a 
leader, a man among all men, I was the king who 
wore a golden crown, I was somebody, to someone, 
but now nothing to nobody anywhere nothing more 
then a broken down beat up tired old man digging
his own grave six feet underground for they took 
away from everything that ever meant anything 
from me my dignity, my very heart, and more using 
me until there was nothing more to use taking until 
there was no more to give making me believe they
were friends with nothing up their sleeves until he 
knew the fakes ones as none were ever real and now 
I no longer can I feal with lies and stolen truths 
of addicts, thieves, liars. and whores.
Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey
Texas Poet Laureate Nominee 2016-2020


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