How do I get free


How do I get free?

For as far back in my mind that I can remember I have been running away from all of my demons while chasing the fire of a dragon, so much so that I have even forgotten what is was like to just stop and look up at the sun feel the warmth
and smile always to afraid that one day they would finally find me then what was I supposed to do anyway aways fighting a war that was over against an enemy who was never really there after all the while I was falling down deeper in a hole that was filled of sorrow and despair where it felt as if I was being dragged under by the weight of my past mistakes always fighting to climb out gasping for air, drowning in a frozen sea of shear loneliness while surrounded by the darkness so how do I get free? I have been looking so very long for a real love to hold on to for as far back as I can remember alway coming close or so I thought I was only to grab on and find out after giving out everything that I had inside of me it was never really love at all since all the love I had ever given never made its way back to me, then trying so hard to make it while praying that I could change it as I was hoping one day to make it mine always hiding what I already knew while I was denying the truth that I had gotten lost in what I call forevers lie of a fake eternity so how do I get free? Seems as if since way back when every single decision that I have ever made was aways the wrong one making mistakes is my middle name as I am always steping in a pile of shit as they say, from who I hung out with to drinking like an alcoholic smoking weed they called chronic skipping class just to lay out at the beach then one thing after another always wishing I could change my decisions to another while thinking oh brother here we go again even no especially when it comes to woman meeting broken souls with nothing them building them up until they are well again then they cheat on me with my good friends after I gave them everything getting nothing back at all, always finding users who take everything but give nothing in return and usually drug abusers who lie, cheat, and steal from me even though I would give it them if they only asked which by the way I found out that nice guys like me who still believe in humanity always finish last and they never get any ass sorry for that but it is true nowadays they do not want to be romanced no they do not have time for that it is what can you do for me if you want a piece of this hurry up because my sugar daddy is coming how much cash you got so tell me please how do I get free?
Please tell me how do I get free from it all the lies the users the drug addicts and boozers how do I get free from the violence on TV kids killing kids and and the color of our skins or what God that I pray killing all in God's name, the homeless, we should all be ashamed how do I get free from my ghost and PTSD or the loneliness that my depression brings and the pain that I feel you may not believe but it is real from a broken heart so please tell me how do I get free to love to feel to trust to heal how to get free from what they call humanity because if this is what humanity is I would rather not be human
In fact humans are the reason why this world is so broken so God can you hear me please I beg of you I am down on my knees praying for you to give me my wings so I can be free to leave this place I have had enough of the so called humanity take me back home so I can leave the human where it belongs please set me free from my human bonds let me be free to fly back home with my wings to fly through the air and beyond free to be who I am Me.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When I close my eyes

When I Close my Eyes I might not be able to change the world and I might not be able to change your mind I might not be able to make you love me but I can dream about It when I close  my eyes late at night when I am living somewhere in my mind for  that is where  I go every chance  When I want to escape All the violence and the hate a place where you and I walk hand and hand Down the peaceful streets At night after our date A place that is filled with laughter and tears drinking margaritas on the beach with you while we are dancing in the rain where I always smile and I forget all the pain a place where peace has won the war and race matter not any more where we can all now dance out in the streets rich or poor now all live next door to door a place where the sun shines every day and there are no dark clouds anymore where there are no chains that bind us all a...
Read more

It has been 10 years since I wrote my first book.

  "A story of one man's epic love for his son who is not of his blood." One day I was woken up by a dream I think it was really a nightmare I was alone or so I thought, I was seeing shadows and I kept hearing voices whispering in my ear so I started listening and writing it down, I still do that today. That was ten years ago and with those words, I wrote my first book., The Battle Lost: Ryder's Birth, It was a whopping fifty-two pages each a separate piece of poetry with extremely bad grammar, misspelled words, and no punctuation I had a good friend go through it when I got it back there were so many red marks I flashed back to high school. It has been on Amazon's top ten Epic Poetry (Free) in the Kindle Store for ten years. Ryder is now eleven years old and doing awesome it really was an epic battle physically, mentally, and emotionally fought in Parker County, Texas. DNA does not matter if you love that child enough and I Proved that. Actually, Attorney Bethel T...
Read more

Happily ever after amen.

Happily ever after amen.  Every now and then you will meet someone that makes your heart begin to pound so hard that it feels as if it will break through your chest or crack a few ribs at best, as you can hear  your blood flowing through  your veins like a mighty river fed by the rains of angry massive wintkrms to the sea also making it hard to breathe as you start to feel the heat coming from somewhere down deep in your soul smoldering until you see her beautiful face then your heated passion takes control igniting a raging fire the is now burning out of control as it feels like it is two hundred fifty degrees and your boiling from the inside, as tears fall from your eyes as their sheer beauty is so bright it leaves you feeling blind, and when they look up and smile at you the oh so real feeling of panic hits you right in the face as you freeze up talking nothing but gibberish losing all concept of speech and losing control of your knees falling to the ground as if you w...
Read more