How do I get free

How do I get free?

For as far back in my mind that I can remember I have been running away from all of my demons while chasing the fire of a dragon, so much so that I have even forgotten what is was like to just stop and look up at the sun feel the warmth
and smile always to afraid that one day they would finally find me then what was I supposed to do anyway aways fighting a war that was over against an enemy who was never really there after all the while I was falling down deeper in a hole that was filled of sorrow and despair where it felt as if I was being dragged under by the weight of my past mistakes always fighting to climb out gasping for air, drowning in a frozen sea of shear loneliness while surrounded by the darkness so how do I get free? I have been looking so very long for a real love to hold on to for as far back as I can remember alway coming close or so I thought I was only to grab on and find out after giving out everything that I had inside of me it was never really love at all since all the love I had ever given never made its way back to me, then trying so hard to make it while praying that I could change it as I was hoping one day to make it mine always hiding what I already knew while I was denying the truth that I had gotten lost in what I call forevers lie of a fake eternity so how do I get free? Seems as if since way back when every single decision that I have ever made was aways the wrong one making mistakes is my middle name as I am always steping in a pile of shit as they say, from who I hung out with to drinking like an alcoholic smoking weed they called chronic skipping class just to lay out at the beach then one thing after another always wishing I could change my decisions to another while thinking oh brother here we go again even no especially when it comes to woman meeting broken souls with nothing them building them up until they are well again then they cheat on me with my good friends after I gave them everything getting nothing back at all, always finding users who take everything but give nothing in return and usually drug abusers who lie, cheat, and steal from me even though I would give it them if they only asked which by the way I found out that nice guys like me who still believe in humanity always finish last and they never get any ass sorry for that but it is true nowadays they do not want to be romanced no they do not have time for that it is what can you do for me if you want a piece of this hurry up because my sugar daddy is coming how much cash you got so tell me please how do I get free?
Please tell me how do I get free from it all the lies the users the drug addicts and boozers how do I get free from the violence on TV kids killing kids and and the color of our skins or what God that I pray killing all in God's name, the homeless, we should all be ashamed how do I get free from my ghost and PTSD or the loneliness that my depression brings and the pain that I feel you may not believe but it is real from a broken heart so please tell me how do I get free to love to feel to trust to heal how to get free from what they call humanity because if this is what humanity is I would rather not be human
In fact humans are the reason why this world is so broken so God can you hear me please I beg of you I am down on my knees praying for you to give me my wings so I can be free to leave this place I have had enough of the so called humanity take me back home so I can leave the human where it belongs please set me free from my human bonds let me be free to fly back home with my wings to fly through the air and beyond free to be who I am Me.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A #Poets Journey