Posts

I am Thankful

With the world these days being such a mess which is caused by such things as wars that are not new but just the same old conflicts, religion that  pray to all the same actors but in different order that confuses  me to no end when they are all supported to be about peace am I missing something here, Politics the left or the right who cares what hand you use besides they are all dicks to me so grow up and shake hands for Christ sakes, which is always on the news on every channel on our television sets and COVID-19  and all the new Hey let's play God human born viruses causing us to instead  of becoming closer to each other now we are standing six feet back  from one another, so now we have mistrust they did it, not me, fear that the truth will come out, the anxiety of what comes next, and so much stress along with our relatively short amount of time and history on this planet, we call Earth which has a very violent past in the first place that stem

One point five million

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Congrats! Your photos just reached a new milestone. Collectively they have now been viewed over 1,500,000 times. I am incredibly dumbfounded and grateful in the same sentence I mean it's not a billion but wow... THANK YOU SO MUCH... now if I sold that many books... Lol

My Demons

My Demons  My demons don't hide behind my eyes or some  where in the darkness deep inside or anywhere  you might think they might there is no battle for  my soul or for my broken heart no there is nothing like that at all that's because there is no fight I gave  in to them long ago with all my countless broken  hearts along with failing in this life so I did not feel  the pain that came from every part of my body  or the teardrops that would not stop or the  sadness that was causing madness every  minute of the day and night they stopped your  vision from invading my every thought and  dreams so much so I could not sleep you see  I am the demon out in the open for everyone to see I am an addict that will never change that is  why I am alone and lonely I don't want to  to fight  with the hippicrates who look down and snear  or lie and say they are okay when the still hide in  the shadows to roll that glass li

My music.. Wow

Wow I had no idea... Awesome N1M N1M URL:  https://www.n1m.com/thebattlelost NumberOneMusic URL:  https://www.numberonemusic.com/thebattlelost N1M Charts | week 42, 2023 Hi Richard M Knittle Jr. ! Congratulations, Your songs in Hot 1000 N1M Chart! A little southern comfort #6 for Acoustic in United States, Texas  #13 for Acoustic in United States  #57 for All Genres in United States, Texas  #610 for All Genres in United States    Your love is now part of me. #19 for Acoustic in United States Texas #148 for Acoustic in United  States   You gave me.mp3 #98 for Acoustic in United States, Texas  Regards, N1M team https://www.n1m.com https://www.numberonemusic.com Get Maximum Exposure!

My Father's Son

M  y father’s son As I sit here shivering in the cold all alone in the  dark on a floor made of dirt and I wonder to myself  if it is going to be my unchangeable destiny to become  my father’s son, so full of anger and disgust for not  turning out how he wanted me to be, for in his eyes I  am nothing more than a total failure who could never  get it right, always shaking his head when I come into  his sight telling my mother to ask me a question while  he is standing right there in front of me like I never existed what in the hell did he do this time then wallking away  making me feel so little like I just committed some  heinous crime against humanity for just being born,  causing me to hate my life, so then I try to find a different way to escape trying everything I can so that I did not  have to feel the pain now I just want to get high to forget  the crappy life I have lived always making the wrong  choices

Love yourself

Love yourself  People keep asking me how I am doing and where have I been and to be honest with you I have retreated into a place that i have never really been before it is lonely and  it is cold a place where I very seldom think of anybody or anything because it all hurts like hell, I have been taking trips throughout my own mind hoping I will find something.  like a memory of back when I was me myself or who I think I am supposed to be but it has been so long I do not believe I will ever see any of those thoughts again, all the tears that fall now flow free taking with them all the hurt and grief it is my body trying to save itself helping me find my way home before I get lost in the abyss of an empty area that is vast not used that much vacated by love when I lost all my hopes and dreams in my travel down some sketchy paths I have found at least tiny pieces of what is a very broken and shattered slices of my
 Are we really the master of? I have always said that blood or DNA does not always mean family and really is not that much thicker than water I mean take a damn good look at me, I am the epitome of an excommunicated proverbial black sheep of the family and to tell the truth, I am very honored that I am thought of that way, and even my son Ryder whom I fought an all-out war over and who the world and beyond both up in heaven with His blessing and down below, where my battles with my demons are all well-known they talk when you get sent home, knows me as his father even dad regardless of who his sperm donor is, so I sit back and start to really wonder if are we really the so-called captain of our own ship? Do we really navigate through our own time and space? Are we the true masters of our own fate? Or is our life already predestined and no matter what we say or do it will end up the same anyway, what do you think is it luck or fate? Or could it be something else entirely all together? T