Demons

Many of us fight the cold lonely battle of the darkness called depression every day, it is a constant war throughout our life. It is something we must fight just to to stay alive. Believe me you are not alone as I walk down the same path with you. Please remember that suicide is not painless and it is never the answer to the questions we seek. THINK ABOUT THIS. You are never alone for I am here for you and just know this someone does love you. God loves you Jesus loves you. And the one person who says love is dead me, I love you too.

Demons

These demons that I have been

fighting I know are for real, from all of the scars on my heart to this pain that will never heal.

Some days I lay in my bed to go to sleep but at night I am still awake, for all of the bad ones have taken all of my dreams 

to forsake. I fear that my fate has been already been sealed so even with God's help I tried the I tried the very best that I could, but I believe my world this one that I had once loved is now over as it fell to their side. For my entire life has been wasted on bad choices and wrong decisions that I have made as it it feels like it has been nothing but another day in hell, because it I let it mean nothing to me, the faster I fell.

I tried to fight back and fought many battles for my freedom and for the last of my sons, for Ryder I beat easy but for the addiction well sometimes it is still on. I fought hard with the courage and the strength of His only son, but at the end of the battles I am afraid no matter who was helping me I was still only one.

So to all those friends that I have taken with me into my heart, you have taught me that maybe humanity does deserves a new start, so please do not ever worry for me for you see I will never really be gone, all of the pieces of my poetry that I

have written for you, well they will be in my soul and will always carry on. I do hope that when you read them and that tear starts to form, it is okay to remember me so please let them all fall to the ground,. And for all those others outhere who are like me, the ones who are hurting from the inside, we were all born into the darkness without  the light inside. We hide our deep 

sadness from all those that we love, and we could never be treated by any doctor’s glove 

All the smiles that we share, and all the laughs we hand out, well that is only mask to hide our deep loneliness as we look for a way out.

Please believe me when I say that yes we still love our all of our left children so blame is theirs not, but we tried all the choices and believe me we fought. So if the darkness or depression or any mental illness

does not ever find you, please do

 not be so quick to cast us out, you should be thankful my friends that it missed you and that is with out a doubt. My friend Robin Williams fought with his demons, and he fought a good fight, but alas he lost

his long battle with the darkness, 

for him there was no light. 

So I want to say thank you to Robin for all the great laughs, you have been the light in our battles as we have walked down some of the same paths. 

I personally still mourn you, whereas my demons may still win, but as the gates of heaven open for me I will scream, 

“Nano Nano” and then I will walk on in.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.

A Poet's Journey