One day soon

 One day soon


one day soon I will be okay, for there
will be no more sadness filling my
lonely soul that now surrounds me,
like the bars in a prison cell that hold
me confined by shackles, keeping me
from living a life that I used to know,
one that was filled with so much joy
and happiness like a school-aged little
boy waking up to all the presents on a
cool clear Christmas morning, smiling
and laughing like there was nothing else
that really mattered in the world, but now
here I lay with the fear of waking up each
day as the tears start to fall for no good
reason at all, while nobody can understand
these emotions I feel for they are all way
beyond even my complete control. No, I
cannot just take another pill, then force a
fake smile at will, then act as if everything
will just go away, so please do not tell me
just to chill, or that it is only in my head
because it is very real, and I live with it
every night and day, now all I can say is
nothing matters with the sound of death
getting louder as the daylight starts to fade
Into the darkness, falling deeper down into
depression, no reprieve from this regression
there is no suppression of my thoughts and
suggestions, to end this succession from
my life that indeed may need some redemption
from the many temptations that I have taken,
creating a separation of my mind and heart and
soul. But alas, one day I am hoping as I am down
on my knees, praying that one day I will be okay
free once again to love, no not another person at
all but to love me.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.
A Poet's Journey

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