His diary for a new beginning

His diary for a new beginning

He stood there shaking his head while looking

at himself in the mirror all alone thinking "I am

looking so damn old what the hell happened

to the man that I used to know" as he was walking

back and forth whispering asking questions

then talking to himself just trying to decide If this

was the right time or if he should even go

shivering out of control even though was a

clear summer day terrified that he would not

know what to say making a big fool out of

himself so afraid that she would see right past

his laughter and funny demeanor to the

darkness that lived below where nobody

ver wants to go filled with the secrets that

haunt his broken soul all in the one place

inside where he tries so hard to leave behind

the place of death and unbearable

never-ending pain from where all the

nightmares came many of which still remain

today where he had fought all the wars

filled with demons, addiction, abuse and more

where raging bloody battles went on for years

most of then he won as to why he is still here

some a draw where after months and months

locked in mortal combat as he fought himself

for control of the devices and knives he wanted

to take his own life with and just a very few

that he lost yet they are the ones where his

wounds would not heal leaving deep never

healing scars that still cover his heart where

chunks not just pieces are missing feed to

sorrow and regret for helping his demons

defeat him when they took those who he had

loved the most the father the son and her

holy ghost leaving only his son until that one

day when she played him like only she knew

how drawing his attention away for just a grain

of sand long enough to take and hide away

his fourth son their plan and worked this war

was over for they had won for just a brief

moment in time yet he knows that history

somehow changes all the time. So now he

wonders if this first venture to begin a new

adventure was going to work he really has

no idea all he knows is that he needs to try

besides she makes him smile and that is

something that he has not had in a very long time.

Poet Richard M Knittle Jr.

A #Poets Journey